Showing posts with label trigger warning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trigger warning. Show all posts

Saturday, November 14, 2015

I'm not changing my Facebook icon

This post is going to be triggery, I think. Some people also might not like what I have to say, but I'm going to say it anyway, because I think that it's important. 

We're weird about terrorism, here in the United States. Whenever something happens outside of the country, we jump up to "stop it." However, there are conditions on this. I'm fifteen, but from what I've seen, we're the quickest to jump when the people involved in the violence are brown.

What happened in France was horrible. I'm glad that people are grieving alongside the country, because they need the extra support during this time. However, I've noticed that there are many, many people blaming Islam, even though ISIS is not a Muslim group. In fact, they've killed many Muslims, which is why there are Syrian refugees. 

The refugees are being blamed, even though this is the type of experience they experienced daily in Syria. The type of violence that did not get a hashtag or an option to change your Facebook icon to the colors of the Syrian flag.

Even though France wasn't the only place to experience violence from ISIS (Baghdad and Beirut were also targeted within the same twenty four hours), I only see people talking about France. At the Democrat Debate, there was a moment of silence for France. On Facebook, there's an option to change your picture to the colors of the French flag. 

France. France. On Facebook, it's all people talk about. People Magazine and the Huffington Post have posted countless articles about it in the last day or so. 

It's not a problem that everyone is talking about France. The problem is that we're only talking about France.

Why isn't there an option to have the flags of Baghdad or Beirut as my Facebook icon? Why is it that there are only a select few number of articles written about these other countries? Why is it that hatred of refugees and Muslims is being condoned? The fact that we, as a society, are quick to grieve along with France but not Baghdad or Beirut says something about what we think.

We think that the lives in France are more important. Why? Because it is a Western, and some would say white country.

Although many people don't want to admit it, we don't seem to care about victims when they're brown. The people who suffer in the Middle East are a bunch of nameless, faceless people to us. Many of us don't know what's going on, besides the fact that we're in a state of constant war. 

It's easy to jump on the issue when the violent ones are brown. When they're the victims, suddenly, we are jumping away. Just recently, with the protests occurring at universities such as Yale and Mizzou, there was the threat of terrorism against black students.

The reaction? Scorn. Even after the tragedy in France occurred, there were people mocking the protesters at these schools. The protesters who feared that something similar could happen to them because of the color of their skin.

Why wasn't their fear valid?

While I was on Twitter today, I saw people linking to a tragedy where 147 students were killed in Kenya  and was quick to note how no one was talking about it. However, this tragedy occurred in April. The point that the posters were making was that there hadn't been a national outrage over this tragedy.

I don't remember hearing about this, and neither did the hundreds of people who retweeted. This, and other tragedies such as the disappearances in Mexico, are tossed around for a few minutes before we forget about them. 

What about bringing back our girls? Does anyone remember that?

I asked some of these questions to my followers on Twitter, and one very smart woman said that many emphasize with the tragedy in France because it reminds them of 9/11. That makes sense - I've seen so many people compare France's support of us during 9/11 to our support of them now.

But again, the common tropes: brown people initiating the violence, white people being among those who suffer. Is that why we care so much? Are we only able to care about a tragedy when we've experienced something similar? Some might say that it's a basic human trait, to be able to connect to someone who has experienced similar issues as us.

But why can't we recognize this? Why can't we say that our vision has been clouded since 9/11, which is where the knee jerk reaction comes from, but that we will also grieve for others who have suffered from violence?

Why don't we ever discuss the fact that we don't care about brown people and their suffering?

I could give many examples of this. There's the fact that there was a huge uproar and Europe about taking in Syrian refugees. Many people didn't want to do it, despite the large amount of suffering that these refugees faced. Their response was that there wasn't enough money.

After 9/11, no one mentioned money. We went to war. Even now, when people start discussing the chance of another war, no one is talking about the trillions of dollars of debt that we're in. Obviously, this isn't amount money.

Or I could bring up the Charleston shootings earlier this year, and how there wasn't an option to change our Facebook icons for that. Dylan Roof was not treated like a terrorist. This tragedy wasn't treated like a terrorist attack, even though this man expressed ideas shared with the KKK, a terrorist organization.

They bought him lunch. They escorted him nicely.

Instead of the national grief, all of the people posting on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter, there were debates. Debates over whether or not this had to do with race. I honestly don't remember people caring the way that they care about France. No other countries expressed their grief about this event that "shook our nation." 

Is it because the victims of the Charleston shootings were black? Because the terrorist was white?

Another point that was brought up on Twitter is that the attacks in France ruin the idealistic vision we have painted, as a society. In movies, commercials, books, everything Paris is the city of lights, of love. The streets sparkle, and the Eiffel Tower shines down on you. Paris was everything we hoped to be. 

Charleston, within our own borders and attempting to sweep institutional racism under the rug, was something that we were trying so desperately to ignore. 

In turn, while I urge you to continue to pray for Paris, I remind you that stories of violence and terrorism are delivered to us in a prepackaged container. We, as Americans from a Western country, see brown people as disposable and violent. That's the way the story will be framed to us. If a story doesn't fit the container, it isn't told.

So, no. I will not be changing my Facebook icon. I will grieve for France, but also for Kenya, for Baghdad, for Beirut. I will grieve for all of the people affected, including the Muslims and Syrians who will now be targeted even more so than before. 

Because, ultimately, pain doesn't care about color. We're the ones who do.

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Dear Future Me

I always thought that it would be cool to have journals to look back on, so that I could remember what my life was like years ago. Maybe, by the time I'm ready to look back on this with significance, the internet might cost too much for me to use. Maybe I don't care. I don't know. This feels important.

I'm writing to let you know how awesome you are. How much I think about you all of the time, to remind me how talented and lovely you are. I try to remind myself that it'll get easier, that I won't always be like this forever. 

There are so many questions that I want to ask you. I want to know how you made it through, what you're doing, if life is still hard and if it's worth it. I want to know if you laugh when you're out in the sun and tease your friends and still make movies. If you still laugh at stupid Tumblr jokes.

I wish that I could meet you right now, when it's especially hard. I know that I don't want to die, and that I'm going to hold on for as long as I can. I know that. And I know that life can be awesome. I loved being in Brooklyn and exploring and making movies. I can't imagine how happy I would be doing that for the rest of my life. 

But, what a lot of people don't understand, is that it's not enough for me to know that I might have a bright future. I try to guess, and tell myself, but I really don't know. The idea of suicide is sort of comforting sometimes, because I know that I have the power to end it if I'm miserable for the rest of my life. After all, why, if life is so horrible, would I stay alive?

But now I can't help but think that I might have an awesome life. That I might love living, and might become a cooler version of Lena Dunham. I can't help but hope that I have a beautiful time, and can retire and glance back and be super happy that I lived. But that sort of makes it harder. 

Because, when I feel like I can't breathe under the pain on my chest and no one knows what to do, when people tell me to get over myself, when the medication and therapy doesn't work, I can't simply try to hurt myself. I get super super close, but I always think about you. 

About the future me. 

If you can, I would love to know how you made it. How you got through it. If anything, that's what I need to know right now. And I'll repay you by making sure that you continue to exist. 

xoxo, 
Camryn 



Friday, August 21, 2015

Family Values I've Learned From the Duggars

(Trigger warning: I'm going to mention pedophilia, incest, child abuse, and molestation in this post. Beware.) 

Yeah, I'm coming here.

Basically, I don't understand why people still report on the Duggar family. It's abundantly clear that they're icky, and also problematic af. They follow the creepy teachings of Gothard (some of which include spanking your babies with wooden paddles and only smiling, or else), but also do a bunch of other icky things.

Like, you know, hate on queer people. Because we ruin family values, or something. Let me list the family values I've learned from the Duggars:

1) Being queer is a sin, but molesting your siblings is fine: It totally wasn't weird, how the family handled everything once it came out. Of course, it wasn't a big deal that Josh did these things to his sisters. They are there as sexual objects, after all. That's why we need to make sure that he gets back to lobbying, so that we can make sure those queer people don't get to have any more rights and taint America. 

2) By all means, don't get your son help after he molests your daughters: Instead of sending your son to get mental health from an actual professional, I know what you should do. Send him to an all Christian center. Have him perform physical labor and pray all of the sin away. I'm sure that this will do him some good, so much that he'll be ready to come home after a few weeks. 

3) Women should stay with their husbands. No matter what: Obviously. Like, even though your husband never received legit help after molesting his sisters, you need to make sure that you always stay with him. Continue to have children with him, and have him around them. I'm sure that nothing horrible could happen as a result.

4) Ashley Madison accounts are totally fine: By all means, pay money for a website that will connect you with people to cheat on your spouse with. Even if she finds out, she won't leave you. Women aren't supposed to do that. 

5) My only role in life is to have babies: As many as possible. Because, after all, that's what God would want.

xoxo, 
Camryn