Camryn Reads Maya Angelou

Note: This is an essay that I'm turning in when I go back to school as part of my summer reading project, so if I sound like I'm reaching at any point, that's probably why. I'm so awkward when it comes to school essays, guys. But I thought I'd share, because I think Twitter is impressed with me. 

I absolutely loved this book. I had been hoping to read it for a while, but held off because I hoped that I would read it as part of a school assignment. For the past few years, I’ve been challenging myself to read more books by black authors like Langston Hughes, James Baldwin, and Zora Neale Hurston, Maya Angelou was closer to my heart.

When I was younger, I didn’t have any clue who James Baldwin was, but I knew about Maya Angelou. I’ve heard people like Serena Williams recite Still I Rise, one of her poems, watched her receive a Presidential Medal of Freedom from President Obama, and noted that she was good friends with Oprah. I was devastated when she passed, not because I knew her personally, but because I hoped to. Reading this book was my chance to know her, to learn from her, even if it was a side that thousands of other readers had already met.

This book is an example of both feminism and fighting racism, all from a woman who didn’t seem like she would make something of herself when she was younger. Stories like hers, while I’m no stranger to them, always inspire me. Black women dealt with so much, and continue to do so, but it gets a little easier each generation because of the strength of those who come before us. I think this is a theme that’s also displayed in the book, because Maya and her brother, Guy, received strength and much of their sense of self while being raised by their grandmother.

Even though there were many times that this book was depressing, like when Maya recognized the racism that she lived through and the sexual assault she was faced with, I was surprised that the book was funny. I don’t know how she was able to find places to insert humor. When I first started the book, I expected stories of living in a segregated area and having to work as a made to white families in the south. What I didn’t expect were the stories of con men, wild parties, and sex.

I think that Angelou included bits of humor for the same reason why she probably searched for them in her actual life. It would’ve been impossible to live through all of the things that she did if she hadn’t been able to see the positive aspects of life, and I think that it’s the same for someone reading her story. I don’t know if I would’ve been able to read the book so quickly if it had just been a memoir of all of the horrible things that happened to her. Maybe she included these aspects because she recognized how much these memories hurt her. I’m not quite sure, but it’s something I’ve thought a lot about.

I can’t help but feel that Maya Angelou was inspired by the times in which she wrote this book. By the time I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings was published, Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X had both been assassinated. At the same time, the feminist movement was kicking up. I feel like that’s why she was able to talk about sex so freely. She doesn’t pull punches when talking about the racism that she faced, either, and I’m grateful. It’s important to know what people went through, so that we don’t forget.

There are some aspects of Maya’s story that I could relate to, despite the large period of time that separates us. Maya explored the self loathing that she felt toward herself and her appearance, wishing that she were a white girl with blonde hair. When I was younger, I also felt the same. I hated how dark my skin was, and wished that I were lighter. I begged my mother to straighten my hair, and when we finally did it for my fifth grade moving up ceremony, it poofed right back up because of the heat. I wanted to be a white girl so badly, because I knew then that I would truly be beautiful.

Often times, when I read the works of black people who have come before me, I expect that I won’t be able to relate to them. Each time, though, there’s always something (usually multiple somethings) that I relate to. I wonder now if some aspects of black life are just universal, or if these aspects of life are symptoms of racism that still haven’t been eradicated. On one hand, it’s comforting to feel connected to the characters in A Raisin in the Sun by Lorraine Hansberry, or even characters in the sitcom Good Times. I feel connected, like I know these people, and it creates a sense of community. However, I’d rather feel connected to other black people because of other things like hair or skin.

Being able to connect because of our life experiences is often what brings people together, but most black people are sharing stories of hardship and trying to find small pieces of happiness within them. At the end of this book, Maya is sixteen, single, and pregnant. She’s content with where she’s at, especially since being a mother means that she’ll receive the love she hasn’t felt throughout the novel. However, it’s difficult for me to overlook the fact that she’s going to face more hardship. It makes me feel better that she ultimately was able to rise up from where she started, so high that she probably didn’t expect it, but I worry that suffering is doomed to be part of the black identity for years to come.

Overall, though, stories like this one makes me believe that things will be better for each generation to come after. I don’t think that we can say that black people, as a community, are where we should be at all. But I do think that, because of people like Maya Angelou and Toni Morrison and even Oprah, roads have been paved for young women like me. My only hope is that I’ll be able to do the same for the girls who come twenty years down the road.

I'm pretty dramatic. Meh.

xoxo,

Camryn

this is how the industry lives now: five signs that you might be suffering from white privilege

Hey! It's been a bit of a while since I last wrote a blog post, but this was very much needed. I often write about issues that are in the young adult literature community, meaning that a lot of people don't know about them (besides my peeps on Twitter, anyway.)

But the discussion of writers from the majority and their privilege has come up again. 

So, basically, many people on Twitter are upset with Ms. Rosoff's response (including myself), and I'm going to analyze her white privilege in both this response and how she is handling the backlash.

(First, I want to thank Laura Atkins for being super cool. Because I probably wouldn't started making sarcastic backhanded insults, and she stayed cool.)

1. "Good literature expands your mind:" Okay, but good literature expands your mind by teaching you about other people. We've been solely talking about white people and their issues for hundreds of years. No one is saying that you should stop doing this, but why do we ONLY need to talk about white people? I read so that I can learn about the world, about other people. Not to get a comprehensive backstory on one type of person.

2. "There are thousands of books:"Where? Do you know any of them? Do you know that there are thousands of books about white people, and yet, we're still expected to read them? In the past, white books were all that were offered. Racial minorities are just beginning to have their stories told. Yes, there have been many success stories, but for each of those, there are about ten authors being shot down.

PS: Stories about racial minorities written by white people don't count. 

3. She's writing a book about a black boy who falls in love with a Native American woman fifteen years older than him! Imagine that! So, you know, obviously she can't be racist. Because she's going to write a black boy (who will probably be horribly done) (not trying to hate but it's true) being abused by an older Native American woman! People who do that definitely aren't racist. 

4. Her first book was white as Vermont in the winter. Seriously: I'm fifteen, so there are lots of authors who wrote books way before I was old enough to read them. But I can say, with total honesty, that I didn't know about Meg. She's actually a pretty successful writer, but her books were published when I was still in elementary school. 

Her first book, How I Live Now, won a Pritz Award and was made into a movie. I've never read it, so I don't know if I would like it...but I do know that it's sooooooo white.  Sigh. I guess that explains some things?

5. She has blocked everyone who opposes her on Twitter (pretty much everyone.) This isn't something that you can google to figure out, but I promise that it's true. Just ask...anyone on Twitter who openly disagrees with her. It's funny to me, because the white people who need to hear these conversations usually are the ones who don't want to listen. 

Plus, I don't understand who she expects to buy her books, but alright.

Bonus round: 

I'm going to include five instances of white privilege that is ingrained in the publishing industry (but also many other media industries, such as the film industry or even the news industry): 

1. Racial minorities who write stories about themselves and are vocal about the fact that they aren't heard are branded as having some sort of agenda, when all they want to do is tell stories. Ava DuVernay has spoken about how she wishes that she would be asked about her film and technique instead of just asked to talk about the racism over and over again in the industry. 

It gets exhausting. Once you talk about a problem, you're expected to only talk about that. Or even worse: some people, like our buddy Meg, might think that you're pushing some sort of "agenda." Whatever that means. White people who tell their stories are just story tellers. 

2. "I'm uncomfortable when everything is not about me." This is a major white privilege thing, and it's basically how I describe white authors who get upset about more books being written by racial minorities. It's often (not) a subconscious thing, where white authors are happy to write "diverse" characters but become hostile when "diverse" people write these characters on their own. 

3. White mediocrity: This is more of a concept, but I'm happy to explain. While there are white authors who are amazing and fantastic and produce great works, there are also white authors who...are just okay. Or even bad. But they're celebrated and given awards and praise for being mediocre. 

(This isn't just a thing with books, by the way. I see it all of the time with films, TV, and music. But I digress.) 

Meanwhile, people of color are held to actual standards (that sounds rude, but whatever.) They have to work to be good, and sometimes that isn't enough. Basically, white authors can get on the NYT Bestseller List for being "okay." A Hispanic author has to be "fantastic" to get the same thing. White authors have to be "fantastic" to win a National Book Award. Black authors have to be "outstanding" to be considered.

Do you get what I mean? 

4. White authors will get recognition for writing racial minority characters that are horribly done. This is just a step up from the white mediocrity. When the industry/readers of young adult started calling out for more diversity, I guess many people assumed this meant that the white people were supposed to start writing characters of color.

That's....not exactly what we mean. 

Because, while this has led to some really cool books, this has also led to some (excuse my language) lazy ass authors writing people of color through their white eyes. That's...no. That's not how it works. By writing people of color the way white people see them (through a racist lense, to be honest, because of institutional racism but that's a story for another day), an actual character isn't being portrayed. A stereotype is. Usually an insulting one.

BUT. White authors get praised for this! I've seen it happen so so soooo many times. We're expected to be happy that we're included, even if it isn't done well. And then, if a white author writes an insulting black character and we call them out for it, the white author throws a fit.

(I'm thinking of a specific example, but I digress.)

5. White people are angry about racial minorities writing their own stories (and being good at it), because now they actually have to work hard. My personal theory is that white people are on the defense, because storytelling as they know it is coming to an end. They can't avoid these "diverse" characters, or even write half-assed versions of them, because a minority will blow them out of the water. They're realizing that white mediocrity won't hold up forever, so their solution? To keep racial minorities from telling their stories in the first place. 

Don't let them. This is how the industry lives now: diversely. 

xoxo,
Camryn

chat with Nicola Yoon

Imagine being grounded - not being able to leave the house, see your friends, or visit your favorite places. Now imagine living that sort of life for eighteen years. In Nicola Yoon’s new young adult novel, Everything, Everything, this is the story of main character Madeline’s life.

Allergic to literally most of the world, Madeline has only known her sterile house, mother, and nurse. Until a new boy moves next door. I chatted with author Nicola about the book, love, and taking risks:

A fun question I like to ask is about the books or stories they wrote before the one that got published. How many books did you write before this one?

I actually wrote one book before, which I might come back to one day, but it just isn't ready for anyone to see at all right now. It's pretty awful. But I still like some of the ideas in it, so one day. Hopefully.

What are some of the themes of Everything, Everything?

For me, it's really about all of the risks you take for love and whether or not those risks are worth it, whether or not love is worth it. Because, I feel like, everyone has been in love or loved someone or something just so much that it takes over your life. But then the question for me is always what if you lose it? Then, you know, how does life continue? Are you able to continue?

I think that first started worrying about it when I met my husband, because I'm totally, totally in love with him. I'm crazy about him. And when I first met him, I was like ‘oh my gosh, this is the one.’ And then I started wondering what would happen if he got hit by a car or something terrible happening. And then we had our daughter and things were even worse, like ‘holy cow, now I have the two of them.’

I love them way too much, and you sort of wonder. The risk of losing love could be devastating. I definitely think that's what the book is about. Love in all of its forms, and the risk that you take by being in love and whether it's worth it.

I know that when (spoiler) happened, I started screaming. I took the book to my sister's graduation today, because I thought I could finish it in a day, and I kept screaming. Especially when I got to the end. It was awesome.

Yay! I'm glad you like it. I mean, I started writing when I first had my daughter and I was totally worried about everything with her, like ‘Oh, she's gonna get a cold, she's gonna fall down,’ so I really related to the parts with [Maddie's Mom].

So what types of stories would you like to see more in YA over the next few years?

I'm a part of We Need Diverse Books, so one of my sort of personal priorities is just getting stories with more diverse characters and all sorts of characters. I feel like there are two types of books that we usually see when it comes to diverse characters: issue books and non-issue books.

I feel like issue books are super important and save lives like if you were struggling with race issues and sexuality issues and read that book and that helps you, then it saves your life.

But I feel like, for non-issue books, that don't talk about it explicitly, are also just as important. I feel like we need to see the world as it is right now, because we are a diverse world. You know, everyone doesn't wake up worrying about whatever issue or whatever label the rest of of the world puts on them. I feel like Harry Potter could be black or Mexican or gay and most of the stories wouldn't have to change. That's my sort of big thing, in terms of books in general.

So you sort of already said it, but do you think that organizations like We Need Diverse Books help get more stories out?

I think they do. I think there are lots of ways to do it. I mean, not only do we need diverse characters in books, but diverse authors and diverse editors and diverse copy editors. I think that we just need publishing to reflect the numbers in the worlds. There are lots of black people and lots of Asian people and I don't think that publishing quite reflects that and it needs to.

How did you give Madison agency over her own story, even though she was stuck in her room?

This was actually hard for me at the beginning when I started writing it because, at first, she's pretty well adjusted in her house. She's accepted her fate, and that's the agency that I gave her. I thought it would be easy to be just miserable, because it's a miserable situation, but that would be a terrible way for her to live. So her agency is to try everyday, like ‘I'm gonna try to make the best of it. I'm going to take the world.’ That's why she draws the world, it's her way to understand it. The agency that she has is to try to be happy in the situation.

Why did you decide to include Carla [Maddie's nurse] as a character? I loved her.

Maddie needed a nurse [in general], but she needed someone to help her see the world beside her mom. So it was practical, because her mom needed work and she needed someone to be there, but also, you know, show another perspective.

OLLY. Did you outline him, or did he sort of just come to you as you went on?

I had a pretty good idea - I don't like to outline that much. But Olly, I pictured the type of person who would fall in love with Maddie and that's how Olly came about. He's sort of attracted to her because he has such a dark home life and is kind of cynical about that. Here is this girl who has every reason to be cynical and miserable, but she's not. I think that's what attracts him to her in the first place.

So Olly really started out as who would fall in love with Maddy, who would find her charming. But no, I didn't write an outline because, I mean, I knew he was so cute and he wore all black. There are a lot of super cute boys who wear all black.

Well, exactly. How much research did you have to do on Maddy’s disease and all of the medical aspects involved with that?

So I did do a lot of research, but it's not like a medical book. I didn't enough research to know enough about it to know what she could and could not touch, the sort of practical things, but the book is really about living and not being sick, so all of the medical stuff doesn't really come into great detail. It's about what it means to be alive versus living.

I like that. Are you working on another book at the moment?

I am! I'm actually on deadline for my next book right now. I actually can't say that much about it, but there's love in it.

That's the most important part.

There's love, and yeah, that's what I get to say. [laughs]

Awesome. Thank you so much!

It was great talking to you!

Everything, Everything, out September 1st from Random House, has been honored as a Book Expo America Young Adult Buzz Panel selection, Indies Introduce Debut selection, #2 Indie Next Autumn 2015 selection, and starred reviews from Kirkus reviews School Library Journal.

this song will save your life

this. book. 

Okay, so I just finished reading it a couple of days ago. And it was absolutely amazing, dudes. I didn't think that I was going to like it, at first, because it seemed to be pretty popular and I don't always get along with popular books.

but this one...was just completely brilliant. It was so good that I don't even know how to come up with the words for it, if you can believe that. Maybe it was just that it was so relatable (in some ways more than others.)

The main character, this girl, Elise, was never popular. She has these two friends because it's better than being alone (I feel) and is totally bullied by a bunch of these kids/ignored by everyone else (I feel) and is totally bitter about this girl "betraying her confidence."

I guess that I usually find YA main characters to be annoying in situations like this. Usually, really popular books have got these characters who don't sound like teenagers at all. So either Leila Sales still remembers being a teenager (rare), or has just jumped inside the brain of one (more likely.)

I loved the way that her "romantic interest" went down, and I just...I loved this. Finding your passion, finding yourself. That one thing that actually makes you realize that you can be happy, that all of life is not high school. It's important to talk about the sad things and this book did it while being hopeful.

I really don't have anymore words to describe how much I loved this book.

But as for being problematic... 

-I don't think the self harm aspect of the book was handled badly, but it did trigger me at first. I would be careful of that. 

-I actually don't think that the author mentioned the ethnicity/race of the characters...so it's always weird for me when authors do that, but it also wasn't a big part of the book. Sort of so that everyone could see themselves in it?

(More on that: The only black/gay person, with those two things specifically stated, was Mel. So I suppose that we're supposed to assume that everyone else is white, because she never specified with any of the other characters? Anyway. That was kind of annoying.)

-This book is about a girl who wants to be a DJ, and she's constantly being let into a club with her other underage friends. I guess that's problematic, but I didn't really care. 

Yeah. I just really loved this book. 

xoxo,

Camryn

book pirating is not a simple issue

Book pirating isn't something that you want to do. For one thing, it's wrong. But you're also cheating authors, who don't make much money, out of the money they would make from their work. 

But talking about it with a lot of authors, I usually feel uncomfortable. Everyone seems to approach the topic with so much privilege. They say things like "It's the same price as a movie ticket!" or "It's like two cups of coffee." Even suggestions to go to the library make me cringe.

Before I start, though, I need to point out that I understand where a lot of authors are coming from. There are a lot of people who could afford to buy books, who could drive down to the library, buy an eBook, and decide not to. I guess, because they can? I don't know. Those people are stupid and rude.

But I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about young adults who don't have any money because kids don't get to decide which families they're born into. Kids who don't have any way to make it to the library, or have friends who can send them books. 

It seems like authors or people from the industry don't seem to realize that not everyone has access to these things, especially kids. I know that I don't make it to the library very often, and I have a lot of privilege. I can't imagine what it must be like for kids who want to read, but don't have the means to. 

I think that it's important to recognize this when we're talking about pirating. I think, especially since pirating has become this weird aspect of our culture, that many kids don't understand what they're doing. That's not an excuse, but something that needs to be taken into account.

If you can just Google the name of a book and find an online copy, lots of kids are going to do it. Which is horrible. And there are also a lot of kids who don't have money and want to read. A lot of school libraries that don't have funding. Kids in countries that don't have libraries.

Basically, what I'm saying is that we have to keep in mind that there are a lot of different factors when it comes to talking about pirating. It's not always just people being entitled, and I'm sick of people simplifying it to that degree.

xoxo,
Camryn