tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24400015007997404912024-03-04T23:57:56.252-06:00For All the Girls Who Are Half MonsterA place for me to ponder the joys of life - or complain. Mostly complain.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14113864646645082197noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2440001500799740491.post-62667898001103337812017-11-15T21:52:00.000-06:002017-11-15T22:06:21.667-06:00Dress Codes and Anti-Blackness<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: medium;">In my experience, school dress codes are a frequent topic of debate, particularly amongst adults and teenagers. I’ve heard stories about girls being asked to change because their shoulders were showing, have seen girls get sent out of class for showing bra straps, and have seen boys get in trouble for sagging their pants (which is an understandably annoying trend, but I digress.) </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: medium;">Earlier today at school, a boy was instructed to take off his du-rag. I was uncomfortable because it was a white teacher ordering a black student, as I have recently begun to examine interactions between white teachers, who tend to hold positions of power because of their race, and their black students. I, having seen family members wear du-rags on bad hair days, initially thought it to be a ridiculous rule. The teacher said the red du-rag could be a symbol of gang affiliation. When I asked about headwraps black women wear, he also said this could be a symbol of gang affiliation. I was angry and also embarrassed, but I couldn’t understand why.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: medium;">I don’t think I’ve ever had a bad teacher in my four years of high school, but all but one were white. I specifically coveted my single black teacher and his African American studies class for three years, finally fitting his class into my schedule after changing my lunch period. He often lamented the fact that African American History was an elective half-year course instead of being taught along in “normal” social studies classes. Since I learned so much from him, I agree. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: medium;">It’s not just what I learned from him, though. I still go back and visit him because of the safety I felt in his classroom. If anyone saw him, they’d probably be afraid, because he’s a big black man with a deep voice. But I knew I could discuss microaggressions with him without facing ridicule, the first time I’d ever been able to do so with any teacher. I could talk to him about snide comments made about slavery or black people or black culture, about white kids who said the n-word, about situations that made me feel uncomfortable even when I didn’t understand why. He understands. White teachers, although they may want to, do see the microaggressions. In fact, they’re often perpetrators. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The teacher who yelled at the student wearing the du-rag is one of my favorites. I’ve had him for four years. But when he talked to me about gang affiliations, I got the feeling I often get when white people say things that make me uncomfortable. My stomach sinks and I grow silent. I don’t say anything because I still want their respect and don’t want to ruin a relationship. However, in the immediate moment, I’m not sure how to articulate why the situation seems </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: italic; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">wrong </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">to me. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: medium;">Here’s what felt wrong: a white teacher calling out a black student for a distinctive part of black culture. The idea that I wouldn’t be able to wear a headwrap to school. The fact that this was somehow because of the dress code.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We aren’t allowed to wear hats at school, but du-rags and headwraps aren’t hats. I checked the official dress code, but these accessories aren’t explicitly mentioned. Instead, the code bans “any combination of clothing which law enforcement agencies currently consider gang-related” while acknowledging that “these may change.” After reading this, I became even more uncomfortable. How does this rule work in real time? Do teachers single out students who </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: italic; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">appear </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">as if they might be affiliated with a gang? Are they relying on stereotypes or old information? And, with the tension between black people and police, I wondered how much “gang related clothing” had to do with clothes black kids like to wear.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">According to GQ, </span><a href="https://www.gq.com/story/who-criminalized-the-durag" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">the durag’s “existence as a utilitarian marker of black cool loosely parallels the head wraps worn by women in slaver-era America.” </span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Both share aesthetic roots in sub-Saharan Africa, but the different stylings express individuality. For the author and other black men like him, the durag became a symbol of black excellence. Similarly, black women have regarded the headwrap as a </span><a href="http://char.txa.cornell.edu/griebel.htm" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“helmet of courage,” and “a uniform of rebellion signifying absolute resistance to loss of self-definition.” </span></a></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: medium;">Durags and headwraps are elements of black culture and ways for black teenagers to express themselves while also maintaining a connection to their identity. However, they’re viewed as “gang related.” What does that even mean? I kept asking myself that question over and over again today. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">According to Homefront Protection Group, “</span><a href="https://homefrontprotect.com/default.aspx?" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">the leader in reality training for the law enforcement community in the United States</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">,” some types of jewelry, clothing, accessories, and bandanas with certain colors or symbols </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: italic; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">could </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">be gang representation. To me, this is entirely too vague and leaves too much room for adults, like teachers, administrators, or even police, to rely on their own notions of what gang representation is. Homefront provided their own </span><a href="http://shannonscorner.com/downloads/Gang_Awareness.pdf" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">example</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">: a racially ambiguous (but brown) young person who looks like they could’ve been an extra on </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: italic; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A Different World.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><img height="397" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/dCTwcEm7KHR2ZpBvm51tdHn1aFJSFpf1nJCJ-ul8X6aE9bzdEbqhKWT2WBg9BfL6pyb7-ZXdpa1TdPJIQyEl40YXyKDk4OK2JcInQx3hnXWJNwj8ANSYPve3wmKalHiEQ7Yen3GU" style="border: none; transform: rotate(0rad);" width="352" /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: medium;">At what point do these arbitrary methods of gang identification infringe upon a student’s first amendment rights? </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In </span><a href="https://law.justia.com/cases/federal/district-courts/FSupp/976/659/1582548/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Chalifoux v. New Caney Independent School District</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, a gang known as the “United Homies” wore rosaries at school, causing the school district to ban all students from wearing rosaries to school because they had become “gang affiliated.” However, not all students who wore rosaries to school were gang members. Therefore, a federal court ruled that the rosary ban infringed on the First Amendment rights of students to express their sincere religious beliefs.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br class="kix-line-break" /></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Similarly, du-rags and headwraps are methods of expression for black students. Banning them in the name of “gang suppression” is a repression of black culture, and frankly, misguided. Gang violence is obviously a big issue, but </span><a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/notes/2016/05/can-dress-codes-rules-help-curb-gang-violence/482976/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">research doesn’t support the position that school rules restricting student clothing have any significant effect on safety and security. </span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Newspaper accounts and anecdotes are not empirical evidence. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: italic; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Feelings </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">white teachers or administrators may have are not empirical evidence. The lack of evidence supporting the banning of du-rags and headwraps makes me wonder how much skin color has to do with the situation. There are gangs that only wear </span><a href="https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2011/jul/27/new-york-gangs-ralph-lauren" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Ralph Lauren</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. Will teachers pull white kids wearing Ralph Lauren sweaters out of the hallways and force them to change? </span></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14113864646645082197noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2440001500799740491.post-48309361198056732972017-08-29T17:30:00.000-05:002017-08-29T21:14:41.283-05:00"The Other Side"<div style="text-align: center;">
Ever since Trump was elected, there have been a ton of messes. The most recent and horrific is arguably the <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2017/local/charlottesville-timeline/?utm_term=.517d0a697628" target="_blank">tragic events at a gathering of white supremacists</a> in Charlottesville, where a car plowed into a group of counter-protesters, killing a woman named <a href="http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/08/13/543175919/violence-in-charlottesville-claims-3-victims" target="_blank">Heather Heyer. </a></div>
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Because of events like Charlottesville, there has been an emergence of "antifa," short for anti-fascism, a <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/14/us/what-is-antifa-trnd/index.html" target="_blank">"far left fringe group."</a> One of the reasons I haven't written anything about antifa is because I first heard about the group when Trump mentioned it. During a press conference after the events in Charleston, Trump <a href="http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/346668-trump-there-were-two-violent-sides-in-charlottesville" target="_blank">asked</a>, “What about the alt-left that came charging at the — as you say, the alt-right? Do they have any semblance of guilt? What about the fact they came charging with clubs in their hands, swinging clubs? Do they have any problem?" </div>
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(Nevermind the fact that several people were injured and a woman lost his life. No, his first instinct was to focus on who to blame first. Anyway, I digress.) </div>
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I didn't really believe what Trump had to say because he's <i>Trump</i>, and also because David Duke <a href="http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/346668-trump-there-were-two-violent-sides-in-charlottesville" target="_blank">endorsed</a> his comments. <a href="http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-far-left-violence-20170829-story.html" target="_blank">But, on Sunday, antifa showed up to an anti-racism protest at UC Berkeley, attacking Trump supporters and others they accused of being white supremacists. </a></div>
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Jelani Cobb, an educator and writer at the New Yorker, wrote a piece where he declared that <a href="http://www.newyorker.com/news/daily-comment/the-antifa-protests-are-helping-donald-trump" target="_blank">"the antifa protests are helping Donald Trump."</a> When I first saw the headline, I was confused, because I hadn't heard about the violence and also because I figured that antifa were just that - against fascism. I was still confused and almost concerned when I finished reading. </div>
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Cobb has an influx of people heading to his Twitter account, some calling him a <a href="https://twitter.com/jelani9/status/902628618106535936" target="_blank">sellout</a>, which seems super dramatic. Nevertheless, I'm torn on the piece. Cobb has gone through a great deal of schooling, way more than me, and I also respect his work and writing. But I found that I disagreed. </div>
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Before I get into it, his overall argument - that punching random Nazis is counterproductive - makes sense. It seems like punching any random person isn't going to help make anything better. It's not a horrible argument. I've seen many people share the same, rather articulately. </div>
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I just don't understand it completely. </div>
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Yes, we all want to avoid as much violence as possible. Yes, attacking people and accusing them of being white supremacists is bad. I don't think that there's a problem with self defense. Neither does Cobb.</div>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">The interesting point here is that I&#39;m not a pacifist. To paraphrase Obama on Iraq, I&#39;m not against violence, I&#39;m against stupid violence.</p>&mdash; jelani cobb (@jelani9) <a href="https://twitter.com/jelani9/status/902634630796410881">August 29, 2017</a></blockquote></div>
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My question is what constitutes <i>stupid </i>violence. I think that randomly attacking someone when you're unsure of who they are could be considered "stupid violence." But Cobb also references the protests at UC Berkeley that occurred earlier this year, when Milo Yiannopoulos was set to speak there. Protesters smashed windows and set fires, and Yiannopoulos didn't speak.</div>
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I don't think that was stupid violence. </div>
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I think that Yiannopoulos is a horrible racist, among other things. He's referred to Leslie Jones as "barely literate," and called her a "black dude." He's called a Buzzfeed reporter a <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/20/technology/twitter-bars-milo-yiannopoulos-in-crackdown-on-abusive-comments.html?_r=0" target="_blank">"thick-as-pig shit media Jew."</a> He's <a href="http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/12/milo-yiannopoulos-harassed-a-trans-student-at-uw-milwaukee.html" target="_blank">harassed and outed a transgender student during an appearance at the University of Wisconsin. </a> He's called <a href="https://donotlink.it/DNxE" target="_blank">Black Lives Matter a terrorist group that fights "a war on police and a war on white people."</a> He's said that <a href="https://donotlink.it/8Zb6" target="_blank">Islam is cancer</a>. He's said that <a href="https://donotlink.it/824E" target="_blank">trans people are mentally ill</a>. </div>
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Long story short, he's hate speech personified. </div>
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Not wanting this person speaking at the school I intend (especially since he outed a trans student at a college appearance) is understandable. I remember having a conversation about this with my teacher. He worried that, if the "other side" couldn't share their views, we would soon lose this ability as well. </div>
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"But what do you do," I asked him. "If their views are that you aren't a real person? That they hate you? That you shouldn't exist?" </div>
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He didn't have an answer to me. </div>
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It's because of this that I can't partake in this "both sides are at fault" argument. Perhaps Cobbs and I disagree, but I believe that merely having someone like Milo speaking at my school is an instance of violence. </div>
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I don't think that black people or queer people or any marginalized person should have to bear the weight of hatred in order to help the "greater good." A student at UC Berkeley shouldn't have to listen to someone like Milo spew racist or transphobic ideas at their place of schooling. </div>
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"Well Camryn," you say. "They don't have to listen. They can just sit there. They don't have to go. They can get up and leave."</div>
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But what does this say about the school that I'm going to? The mere fact that people refer to hateful ideas as "different opinions" only legitimizes them. When people support Trump, they back up his actions. When people identify as white supremacists, they don't believe that I am a real person. It's not a different opinion than mine. It's hatred, even if they don't physically attack me. </div>
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Cobb referred to the both protests at Berkeley as "morally wrong." I can understand labelling the actions at the second protest that way, but not the first. What's morally wrong about starting fires and breaking windows when my school is fine with committing violence against me? To take it a step further, why should hateful Trump supporters or white nationalists be treated with non-violence when they don't offer us the same? </div>
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Furthermore, I don't care about morals anymore. Heather Heyer has died. Because <a href="https://www.gq.com/story/jeff-sessions-donald-trump-military-weapons-police" target="_blank">Trump reinstated the pipeline that gives military weapons to local police</a>, more unarmed black people will die. Because of Trump's actions and spot in the white house, <a href="http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/politics/2017/06/this_year_s_string_of_brutal_hate_crimes_is_intrinsically_connected_to_the.html" target="_blank">more hate crimes will occur</a>.</div>
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Because of white supremacy, more black people will be faced with violence. </div>
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What I'm trying to say is that Trump supporters and white supremacists do not <i>care </i>if we fight back with violence. Well, that's false. I'm sure that they <i>care</i>, because it makes them upset. I agree with Cobb's point that these instances will be used to defend Trump, his supporters, and white supremacists. But so <i>what</i>? </div>
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Martin Luther King was nonviolent and they <i>killed </i>him.</div>
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Anyway, the Civil Rights Movement of the 60s was accused of inciting violence. <a href="http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/document/letter-to-martin-luther-king/" target="_blank">Eight liberal white clergymen accused MLK of being too aggressive and counterproductive</a> (his response, <a href="http://www.africa.upenn.edu/Articles_Gen/Letter_Birmingham.html" target="_blank">Letter from a Birmingham Jail</a>, is a must read.) People <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/sf/local/2013/08/22/there-was-this-fear/?utm_term=.00cfc7001c00" target="_blank">opposed the March on Washington </a>because they thought it could create more violence. People called his demonstrations "<a href="http://thekingcenter.org/archive/document/americans-need-some-discipline#" target="_blank">excessive</a>." </div>
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In 1968, a black man wrote to King <a href="http://www.thekingcenter.org/archive/document/anonymous-criticism-mlk" target="_blank">stating</a>, "After knowing the honest truth about this and many other deaths caused by your calm riots, we as a body had rather not have any thing else to do with you or your so called righteous riots or better, righteous murders.”</div>
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No matter what happens, these people aren't going to be nicer to us. They won't play fair just because we do. I mean, before the American revolution, Loyalists were all, "Guys, stop throwing tea in the harbor. It's making us no better than us. We don't want to be stupid about this." And sure, our country is horrible to a lot of people of color, especially Native Americans, and didn't give us freedom or anything, but I digress. </div>
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Cobb wrote that people like Nelson Mandela used <a href="https://twitter.com/jelani9/status/902637159802445824" target="_blank">"violence when it was efficacious, nonviolence when that was effective. Power came from understanding that."</a> But when do we reach that point? How long do we suffer in silence, allowing people to spread racist and hateful ideas? </div>
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To me, if a white person calls me a nigger, that is violence. If that white person gets hit, I think it's justified, because that is self defense. </div>
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When white nationalist <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2017/01/20/politics/white-nationalist-richard-spencer-punched/index.html" target="_blank">Richard Spencer was punched during an interview,</a> I thought it was self defense. </div>
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Of course, there are actions that antifa have made that I don't agree with. I generally don't want violence in general. But the fact is that it's <i>here</i>. When slave riots happened on plantations, slaves were blamed, even though it started with slave owners. When riots started in Ferguson, black people were blamed, even though the violence started with the police.</div>
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We face violence when we are non-violent. We face violence when we say nothing. We face violence when we fight back with violence. No matter what we do, they will always find something wrong with it. Even though I always think we can do better, I also know that people will find problems with everything we decide to do. </div>
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White nationalists and white supremacy have started the violence. Their ideology is inherently violent. The core of their ideology is violence. I can't say that I blame those who fight back with violence. Survival is an essential aspect of the black spirit. </div>
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Sometimes survival means fighting back.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14113864646645082197noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2440001500799740491.post-19451896462067851612016-12-19T18:25:00.000-06:002016-12-19T18:25:46.320-06:00who will tell the story?<div style="text-align: center;">
One of my coping mechanisms is imagining the future. When I'm worried about a particularly stressful day of school, I imagine what it will be like to do nothing during summer vacation. When I'm irritated with my mother's rules, I imagine what it would be like to live alone in a few years. When I get jealous of characters in romance books, I imagine being in love in the future.</div>
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Donald Trump was voted as the next president, and there isn't a future I can imagine that will make this any kind of better. </div>
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I keep thinking about all of the work people have been doing. Calling senators and representatives, writing pieces about all of the reasons why Trump shouldn't be president, and protesting right outside of Trump tower. All of it is swept aside, even the facts. </div>
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People are so eager to ignore the fact that he's extremely <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-racist-examples_us_56d47177e4b03260bf777e83" target="_blank">racist</a>, has a <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/politics/donald-trump-sexism-tracker-every-offensive-comment-in-one-place/" target="_blank">horrible record with women</a>, has been accused of <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-rape-case_us_581a31a5e4b0c43e6c1d9834" target="_blank">sexual assault</a>, and is all <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2016/12/19/europe/donald-trumps-russian-honeymoon/" target="_blank">sorts of mixed up with Russia</a>. I haven't even touched everything. They'll ignore the fact that Pence doesn't <a href="http://www.cosmopolitan.com/politics/a4494411/mike-pence-anti-abortion-views/" target="_blank">care for the reproductive rights of women</a> or <a href="http://www.teenvogue.com/story/mike-pence-record-reproductive-rights-lgbtq-refugees" target="_blank">LBGTQ+ people</a>. </div>
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They're both horrible, and I don't understand how this is just ignored. Republicans are people, after all, and I believe that they have common sense. My father's best friend is a republican, and I often wonder if he agrees with all of these ideas and statements. I wonder if all of the people who voted for Trump agree that people of color and queer people and women are less than them. </div>
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They do. I can't come to any other conclusion. </div>
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There are Trump supporters in my school, in my town. I can tell because of the statements made in class, but also because of the stickers on cars. Ever since Election Day, I've been extremely aware of my identity. Even the white people who said they weren't going to vote for Trump must have, since <a href="http://www.bbc.com/news/election-us-2016-37922587" target="_blank">58% of white people</a> voted for him. </div>
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As a black woman, I'm often in spaces that are dominated by white people. I've found that part of my experience is having to suspend disbelief. Part of being "respectable" is accepting the idea that most white people aren't racist, or at least pretending to. But how can I believe this after watching this election? How do we go from a gorgeous black family in the White House to <i>this</i>?</div>
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I've accepted the fact that I know more about racism than the white people who teach me. There are three black teachers in my school, and I haven't had any of them. I wish that I could see them everyday, if only for the comfort of knowing that there is another person of color around. I had to explain the concept of institutional racism to a teacher, and was exhausted by the end. </div>
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It is exhausting, to constantly have to explain myself. Why must I constantly prove that there is a system actively working against people of color? Why do I have to bring in sources and argue in a calm voice in order to be considered? Even so, white people always have the chance to ignore me. I don't know if it's even worth it when I'm done. I'm so tired of this. </div>
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Since Election Day, I've rejected the idea that only some white people are racist. I hate the way they use the word, as if it's some sort of insult. White people ignore the ingrained racism inside of them while pretending that race plays no part whatsoever in their lives. My teacher will lecture me about how black people can be racist while also making fun of the names of black students. </div>
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She doesn't consider herself "racist," because to white people, it is an extreme. In order to be racist, they have to declare that they hate black people, or people from Mexico, or people with different skin colors. That definition is so rudimentary; it is almost as if it was taught in first grade and no one ever expanded on it. That might be because the concept of racism is never taught in school, not past the idea that MLK ended it all before he died. </div>
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The fact of the matter is that our country is built on racism. It's still part of the fabric of this country, and no one has ever tried to pull it away. At this point, so far in our history, racism can not be distinguished from the characteristics of our nation. From the moment that the Constitution was written, black people were excluded. </div>
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Cotton was the source of the economy for decades, because of slave labor. Black people have strengthened this nation with blood and bones and lynched bodies. We've received nothing in return. We were never even asked if we wanted this. And today, we act as if slavery is some distant system that no longer holds any impact on our daily lives. </div>
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White people started off with a hundred year head start, and no one ever made them stop so that black people could catch up. They simply continued running, while we were forced to stop, over and over and over again. Now, we are blamed for our unequal status in society, if it is even acknowledged. We are told to work harder to move up, as if white people had to work through Jim Crow and lynchings and systemic racism while attempting to hold their families together.</div>
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White people are born into this system of racism, and many of them do not unlearn it. Black people are also born into this system of racism, but we are forced to learn. From the moment your parents give you the speech about working twice as hard, the moment your mother tells you how to behave around police, the moment you realize that you're the only "good" black child in your class. </div>
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What a tremendous privilege it must be to go through life without being aware of this. Classmates, even teachers, tell me stories of how their ancestors immigrated to this country and built themselves up. I have no idea how my ancestors got to this country. I have an advertisement for a runaway slave, the earliest family member I'm aware of. I'm in awe of his bravery, but I don't understand how he and an immigrant from Poland is compared. </div>
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The Polish immigrant was able to assimilate. He could lose his accent, his mannerisms, and look just like the white people who were already here. Eventually, people forgot why they hated the Polish, and they became apart of whiteness. This could never happen to my ancestor, because his skin was dark and could not be scrubbed off. He lived always looking over his shoulder, avoiding the white man and the KKK. </div>
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Even though most southerners didn't own slaves, they were part of this culture. They believed that slavery kept their lives stable. They believed that black people were less than them. Even Abraham Lincoln was more interested in preserving the Union than abolishing slavery. I know that slavery could've ripped this nation apart, but is a country that only values a white man worth salvaging? </div>
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Lincoln believed so, but perhaps this is because he knew his children would benefit. What a tremendous privilege. </div>
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As my teacher told our class a story about her life, all I could think of was her privilege. She almost failed out of high school, but is successful today. I couldn't help but think about all of the failing black kids in my school who are ignored, except for when adults want to use them as scapegoats. </div>
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<br />"Don't be like them," they say, even if not explicitly. "They have no drive. They won't go anywhere." </div>
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It is this same privilege that has allowed these white people to vote for Trump without a thought of the repercussions. They insist that they aren't racist, as if all it takes is to use the word "nigger." They ignore the fact that they play into this system, that they make behavior more acceptable by supporting Trump. </div>
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They're eager to call out "radical Islamic terrorists," but are silent when it comes to Dylann Roof. I think this is because they know, at the back of their minds, that they created him. They created him with their comments: "black people take advantage of the system," "they're all drug addicts and can't get real jobs," "they're behind us because they're lazy."</div>
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They created him with their silence. Those who stand by for these comments are just as guilty. </div>
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As far as I'm concerned, anyone who supports Trump is not my friend. I don't care that white people wanted a "change," that they chose this fate for our country while thinking only of themselves. </div>
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I don't care that the electors wanted to follow in tradition. I didn't expect this group of mostly white people to save me, not when the concept of the electoral college is already rooted in racism. But I find it disappointing that I'm not yet old enough to vote, and I already don't trust my government. </div>
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I don't care that people are burning flags and sitting down during the pledge. I don't care if you get upset that I refuse to acknowledge Trump as president. If these are things that you are worried about, talk to people like my parents, who are worried about how our lives will change. </div>
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Talk to people like my Muslim friends, who are already terrified at rising hate crimes. Talk to my trans friends, who know the vice president does not care about them. Talk to young women like me, who worry about my reproductive rights with a GOP dominated Congress. </div>
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This is not as simple as disliking the person who won. I am worried about my quality of life. I am worried about friends getting deported, families getting ripped apart. I am worried because this country stopped caring about me once I stopped picking cotton and taking orders. My heart aches for people like <a href="http://www.cnn.com/videos/politics/2016/11/09/van-jones-emotional-election-results-sot.cnn" target="_blank">Van Jones</a>, who do not know how to explain this fact to their children. </div>
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I have come to one conclusion: white people voted against their self interest because they were afraid. <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/10/upshot/why-trump-won-working-class-whites.html" target="_blank">Working class white people</a> are upset that they are slowly fading from the focus. They desperately want to hold onto the times where they were the only ones who were important. When they say "make America great again," they mean times where uppity people of color weren't demanding rights. White people were afraid of losing the privilege this country constructed for them. </div>
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I've been trying to think forward, four years from now, but I'm not sure what it will be like. I'm already apprehensive around white people, angry at all of them, even though I know it isn't fair. I just can't bring myself to care about fair, not when the race was never even from the beginning. </div>
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Perhaps one day, when I'm older, I'll be able to talk to people about this. I'll tell them that I wasn't sure how to fight, but that I kept writing. I hope that writing will be enough. I hope that stories will be enough, as they have been in the past. No matter how hopeless I feel, I will keep telling them.</div>
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I owe it to those who came before, and those who will come after. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJKu_s2YQIzrSGu9950bI5p_hZKfNYMNkRJDCxWPSyPjgFah0ECxrPlQvel5DewWR7Du438_I6KVQPh2hb__KmeV6l4g32nBz6XabOw60fRxaXt6C8QYPDhWGMx4p5MKrblB6FmwsQ9OKf/s1600/Isam+Slave+Runaway.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJKu_s2YQIzrSGu9950bI5p_hZKfNYMNkRJDCxWPSyPjgFah0ECxrPlQvel5DewWR7Du438_I6KVQPh2hb__KmeV6l4g32nBz6XabOw60fRxaXt6C8QYPDhWGMx4p5MKrblB6FmwsQ9OKf/s320/Isam+Slave+Runaway.jpeg" width="195" /></a></div>
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(An ad for one of my ancestors, Isam, who was 25 years old when he escaped.) </div>
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xo,</div>
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Camryn</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14113864646645082197noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2440001500799740491.post-87425216008918372852016-08-28T23:30:00.000-05:002016-08-28T23:30:29.184-05:00Ageism, Black Twitter, and Teen Spaces<div style="text-align: center;">
I haven't felt completely comfortable on Twitter lately. A few days ago, a really prominent Twitter activist tweeted a lot of stuff at and about me. She said that I was probably a troll, because I used the word "misogynoir" in a tweet. She said that I was probably stalking another prominent Twitter activist, because I planned to launch an online magazine on her birthday. </div>
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Basically, a bunch of people jumped in my Twitter mentions. I was asked why I would pick such a negative name, told that I didn't do any research, and that the website looked shady because I didn't had a lot of content, despite the fact that I hadn't launched it. I was told that I should've asked permission for using the word. I do feel like there was a gigantic disconnect, because it wasn't an open dialogue. Two very prominent women, I felt, came after me. If they hadn't had around 80k followers each, I would've felt comfortable talking with them.</div>
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Because, of course, I do not and did not want to steal from anyone. One of them said that I plagiarized, and I actually locked myself in my room and cried. I picked the name after lots of thinking and reading. I wrote a first post, which explained the history and meaning of the word <i>misogynoir</i>, and credited one of the activists, because she's played a large role in the development of the word. It didn't occur to me to credit her somewhere else on the site. </div>
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I was told that I should've reached out to one of the women, for guidance. I did consider it, for a while. On her website, she stated that she didn't want to be contacted for projects where she wouldn't get paid - and I completely understood that. I've recently grown fed up with the idea of creating work for free, when I could be working on things that actually provide money for me. She also stated that she didn't want to be interviewed, so I didn't contact her for the interview series I planned. </div>
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Now, it's not like I was a total victim. On the website's main page, I used a picture that I took off of Google. It belonged to another woman who I hadn't asked or credited. That was a really horrible move to make, especially since I was just going to benefit off of her work like I was the one who created it. She tweeted at the magazine's account, but I didn't have notifications set up, so I didn't see it until the day this all went down. </div>
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What bothers me about the entire situation is how I was treated. It would be sucky to drag someone publicly if they were an adult, but the only reason why this prominent activist stopped is because she realized I was a minor. She didn't stop because she realized that there was a power imbalance because of her fans, because I wasn't given the chance to explain myself. </div>
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She kept mentioning that I needed a mentor. There was a point where she said <i>"you clearly didn't do any research." </i>Since I had been following both women involved for a while, she found an old tweet where I said that one of them was "goals" (a compliment) and said that I should've asked for guidance, then paid a fee. It didn't make any sense to me - she was so into the idea that I was a teen. </div>
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A lot of people are intrigued at my age, which I why I started off trying to hide it. When I queried, looking for an agent, I didn't include my age anywhere. There are still some people on Twitter who don't know how old I am. But even when they find out, most people applaud me and tell me to keep going. This interaction, with this activist I admired, was the first time I felt stupid for being sixteen.</div>
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There are groups of black women on Twitter, and I'm starting to see them as cliques. That isn't bad, exactly. I like to see black women who stick together, especially when they're in similar fields. Black female musicians are close, black female directors are close, and black female writers stick together. I've followed a lot of them long enough to know who is friends with who. </div>
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I've longed for the day that I would get a book deal, so that I could wave it in their face and say "Look, I'm cool! Let me join your group! I want to be surrounded by cool black women!" I'd wonder if they'd notice me, follow me back, reply to more than one of my tweets. After all, these women are awesome. Not only do they do what they do, whether it be writing or dancing, they call out problematic foolishness on Twitter. </div>
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Friendship goals, right there. </div>
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That worries me now. I hate the idea that black sisterhood is something that I have to break into, rather than something that I'm apart of just by being black, successful, and supporting others. And yet, the same women who tweeted about me and let me be dragged by their followers had previously tweeted about black sisterhood and supporting one another.</div>
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Is there a special clause? When I expressed confusion, was told that there's an understanding that, even if one of the women didn't have a trademark on the word <i>misogynoir, </i>it's understood that I should give credit. But where is it understood? How was I to know if I had never spoken to one of them? These women are smart and blunt on Twitter. Was I supposed to expect that the same women who spoke badly about me before knowing me would've taken me under their wing?</div>
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Part of the reason why I still feel irritated is because I was treated like I didn't know anything because I didn't know how <i>their </i>world worked. They spoke as if I was trying hard to be like them, so hard that I ended up mirroring their own work, as if I don't have an agent of my own, a prolific list of work of my own. Why did creating a magazine for teen black girls mean I was trying to be just like them, and not like me?</div>
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I feel that there is an expectation that younger people want to be like those who come before us. And this is often true - people like Oprah and Ava DuVernay and Maya Angelou inspire me. There are tons of women on Twitter and in my life that inspire me. But there is a point in everyone's journey where they realize that they aren't going to be someone else. </div>
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I once tweeted that I wanted to be the next Shonda Rhimes, and a friend tweeted back "You won't be. You won't be the Shonda Rhimes of TV or the Ava DuVernay of film. You'll be the Camryn Garrett of something else, and that's just as good." </div>
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Lots of teens don't know this - lots of <i>adults </i>don't know this. And even if they do, it's one of those things that sticks in the back of your head for a while before becoming truth. There are still times where I compare myself to other people, wondering why I haven't been as successful as Tavi Gevinson or Zendaya so young, before I catch myself. </div>
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It sounds horrible, but I think there are some adults who don't want me to catch myself - not right now, anyway. There are many adults who speak about wanting youth to succeed, wanting to embrace those of our future. The thing is, though, they aren't expecting us to start when we're so young. They aren't expecting us to be <i>good. </i></div>
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Look, I know I'm not the best writer, but I'm better than the forty year old dude the next state over who is just starting, because I've got six years on him. But this fact is ignored by lots of people who are older than me, because I didn't come up the same was as them.</div>
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Lots of successful people, especially successful black women, have to fight and kick and claw to get to where they want to be. Even when they get there, they have to guard their spot from racists and other haters who don't want them to succeed. They expect that those younger than them will have to do the same. If you haven't, they don't think you're legit. </div>
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Of course, these women weren't obligated to send me a private message to tell me that I should take down the photo. They weren't obligated to give their guidance. But, for people who talk about sisterhood, I would've expected them to. It gives them another reason to push me down - <i>she doesn't know what she's doing </i>- instead of helping me get to their level. I haven't paid my dues, and they aren't just going to open up to me. </div>
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When teens come along, adults get mad. They get scared and worried. They don't want things to change, and teens are full of change. We change our minds and come up with new ideas and we're hard to predict. Adults get irritated. I see it in the articles about <a href="http://sports-chatter.chicagotribune.com/sports-talk/slideshow/millennials-now-ruining-olympics/" target="_blank">millennials ruining the Olympics</a>, in the articles questioning why<a href="http://www.rawstory.com/2016/07/the-economist-cant-figure-out-why-millennials-arent-buying-diamonds/" target="_blank"> millennials aren't buying diamonds</a>. I see it in the people who came to the conclusion that <a href="http://nymag.com/thecut/2008/07/meet_tavi_the_12yearold_fashio.html" target="_blank">Tavi Gevinson wasn't writing her own blog</a>, because it was too good for a teen.</div>
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I see it when websites like Teen Vogue and MTV and Seventeen are only written by adults. MTV has a section for teens, which is great (I've written there are a lot and I enjoy it), but you don't get paid. I didn't start getting paid for my writing until this year, and I've been writing for publications since I was thirteen. Most of the content marketed toward us is written by adults. </div>
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Now, this is most likely because it takes a long time to get good at something, and teens are doing other stuff - watching Scandal or playing sports or going to school - that takes up our time. But I'll be totally honest and catty here: I have more experience than some of the people who get paid to write things that I'm supposed to read. There are adults who get paid to stalk teens on Twitter and Facebook and Instagram and try to sell the stuff back to us. If we don't like it, we get a reputation for being difficult. </div>
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A very, very recent example - the VMAs were yesterday night. I personally didn't start watching until Beyonce came on. Beyonce has been making music consistently since I was younger. <i>Lemonade </i>just came out, and I loved it. I connected to it. She was amazing. Right after her, <a href="http://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/vmas-2016-britney-spears-makes-an-epic-return-with-sexy-performance-w436552" target="_blank">Britney Spears</a> performed. I did not think it was good.</div>
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I was surprised to see a lot of tweets, all from adults who were teens when Britney was popular, saying that she did a good job. They said that we should respect Britney for going on after Beyonce and that she was fine. It was weird to see how angry they were getting because people didn't like her performance. In my head, you can't compare the two. Britney has released a few popular songs since I've been a teen, but that's really it.</div>
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And yet, she was at the show. She was hyped up at the show. Adults were tweeting about her - which is fine, have your fun - but they were expecting others to like her. There was this understanding that I didn't get, because I was five years old when Britney was popular. The VMAs obviously aren't only for teens, but I wish people would stop pretending that they are. </div>
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I wish they'd stop pretending that spaces adults present to us are supposed to be <i>for </i>us, since most of the time, it's stuff that they've decided on our behalf. We have less experience most of the time, yes, but we aren't stupid. We know what we like and what we don't. And if we don't like what's available, we'll create our own - how can you fault us for that? </div>
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I'm not saying that content produced by adults is horrible, because it isn't <i>always. </i>Like, pretty much all of my favorite books and movies and TV shows were created and produced by adults. But teens write books, and they're great. Teens make music, and I love it. Teens make films and tell jokes and we dance and we do gymnastics and maybe we aren't as <i>good </i>as adults who have been doing it longer than us, but we'll get there. Simone Biles is definitely better than gymnastics than Tim Gunn, because she's been <i>doing it longer. </i>That's not eradicated because of her age. </div>
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When I received private apologizes from the activists I mentioned earlier, I wanted to reply for a moment. They spoke of the reasons why they had jumped on me so quickly - namely, because of abuse that they face on Twitter - and I understood that. But there was a part of me that wondered if they'd listen to what I had to say, or if they'd sweep it under the rug. Maybe we could have a great conversation, but I feel so vulnerable now. As another lady on Twitter said, "You can't unring a bell."</div>
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I'm not saying that guidance from adults isn't important, because it completely is. I'm where i'm at today because of guidance that I've received from people older than me. But I wish that there were more people like them around, open to young people and open to lifting us up. </div>
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I don't really want to continue with my magazine, even though I changed the name and paid for a new domain. I feel wiped out. Even before I started it, months ago, I worried about the amount of work that I'd have to put in. And I <i>did </i>put in a lot - I saved money from my summer job to purchase a logo and domain, I made schedules, I did interviews and wrote questions, I edited posts and created a website. </div>
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I figured that it would be worth it, if other black girls found this space, but I'm not sure how I feel. Places that I started out writing, like TIME for Kids and Huffington Post, did not pay me, but I don't know where I'd be without them. And yet, I don't know if it's fair for me to expect people to create content for me without payment. Moreover, I don't know if I'm ready to enter beside this clique of black female writers on Twitter. They'll be expecting me to plead to join them, and if I don't, will there boy more drama? </div>
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I appreciate the work women like them do, but there's a difference between calling out an unapologetic or privileged person for being problematic and striking down a person who has the same barriers as you, but less resources. I don't want another girl to feel the way I do. I don't want someone to have to explain what happened to their mother in between tears, or to hesitate before replying to tweets. As it stands, I don't really feel like I have the voice I thought I did. </div>
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But maybe, when I do, I can use it to boost up a girl like me. </div>
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xoxo, </div>
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Camryn </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14113864646645082197noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2440001500799740491.post-53148043473305375222016-08-28T14:40:00.000-05:002016-08-28T14:40:16.215-05:00Camryn Reads Maya Angelou <div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>Note</b>: This is an essay that I'm turning in when I go back to school as part of my summer reading project, so if I sound like I'm reaching at any point, that's probably why. I'm so awkward when it comes to school essays, guys. But I thought I'd share, because I <b>think</b> Twitter is impressed with me. </i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I absolutely loved this book. I had been hoping to read it for a while, but held off because I hoped that I would read it as part of a school assignment. For the past few years, I’ve been challenging myself to read more books by black authors like Langston Hughes, James Baldwin, and Zora Neale Hurston, Maya Angelou was closer to my heart. <br /><br /> When I was younger, I didn’t have any clue who James Baldwin was, but I knew about Maya Angelou. I’ve heard people like Serena Williams recite Still I Rise, one of her poems, watched her receive a Presidential Medal of Freedom from President Obama, and noted that she was good friends with Oprah. I was devastated when she passed, not because I knew her personally, but because I hoped to. Reading this book was my chance to know her, to learn from her, even if it was a side that thousands of other readers had already met. <br /><br /> This book is an example of both feminism and fighting racism, all from a woman who didn’t seem like she would make something of herself when she was younger. Stories like hers, while I’m no stranger to them, always inspire me. Black women dealt with so much, and continue to do so, but it gets a little easier each generation because of the strength of those who come before us. I think this is a theme that’s also displayed in the book, because Maya and her brother, Guy, received strength and much of their sense of self while being raised by their grandmother. <br /><br /> Even though there were many times that this book was depressing, like when Maya recognized the racism that she lived through and the sexual assault she was faced with, I was surprised that the book was funny. I don’t know how she was able to find places to insert humor. When I first started the book, I expected stories of living in a segregated area and having to work as a made to white families in the south. What I didn’t expect were the stories of con men, wild parties, and sex. <br /><br /> I think that Angelou included bits of humor for the same reason why she probably searched for them in her actual life. It would’ve been impossible to live through all of the things that she did if she hadn’t been able to see the positive aspects of life, and I think that it’s the same for someone reading her story. I don’t know if I would’ve been able to read the book so quickly if it had just been a memoir of all of the horrible things that happened to her. Maybe she included these aspects because she recognized how much these memories hurt her. I’m not quite sure, but it’s something I’ve thought a lot about. <br /><br /> I can’t help but feel that Maya Angelou was inspired by the times in which she wrote this book. By the time I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings was published, Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X had both been assassinated. At the same time, the feminist movement was kicking up. I feel like that’s why she was able to talk about sex so freely. She doesn’t pull punches when talking about the racism that she faced, either, and I’m grateful. It’s important to know what people went through, so that we don’t forget. <br /><br />There are some aspects of Maya’s story that I could relate to, despite the large period of time that separates us. Maya explored the self loathing that she felt toward herself and her appearance, wishing that she were a white girl with blonde hair. When I was younger, I also felt the same. I hated how dark my skin was, and wished that I were lighter. I begged my mother to straighten my hair, and when we finally did it for my fifth grade moving up ceremony, it poofed right back up because of the heat. I wanted to be a white girl so badly, because I knew then that I would truly be beautiful. <br /><br />Often times, when I read the works of black people who have come before me, I expect that I won’t be able to relate to them. Each time, though, there’s always something (usually multiple somethings) that I relate to. I wonder now if some aspects of black life are just universal, or if these aspects of life are symptoms of racism that still haven’t been eradicated. On one hand, it’s comforting to feel connected to the characters in A Raisin in the Sun by Lorraine Hansberry, or even characters in the sitcom Good Times. I feel connected, like I know these people, and it creates a sense of community. However, I’d rather feel connected to other black people because of other things like hair or skin. <br /><br />Being able to connect because of our life experiences is often what brings people together, but most black people are sharing stories of hardship and trying to find small pieces of happiness within them. At the end of this book, Maya is sixteen, single, and pregnant. She’s content with where she’s at, especially since being a mother means that she’ll receive the love she hasn’t felt throughout the novel. However, it’s difficult for me to overlook the fact that she’s going to face more hardship. It makes me feel better that she ultimately was able to rise up from where she started, so high that she probably didn’t expect it, but I worry that suffering is doomed to be part of the black identity for years to come. <br /><br />Overall, though, stories like this one makes me believe that things will be better for each generation to come after. I don’t think that we can say that black people, as a community, are where we should be at all. But I do think that, because of people like Maya Angelou and Toni Morrison and even Oprah, roads have been paved for young women like me. My only hope is that I’ll be able to do the same for the girls who come twenty years down the road. </span><div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm pretty dramatic. Meh.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">xoxo,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Camryn</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14113864646645082197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2440001500799740491.post-23926987858529306252016-07-06T00:21:00.000-05:002016-07-06T00:21:28.785-05:00A Heavy Load<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>What happens to a dream deferred?</i></div>
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<i>Does it dry up</i></div>
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<i>Like a raisin in the sun?</i></div>
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<i>Or fester like a sore--</i></div>
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<i>And then run?</i></div>
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<i>Does it stink like rotten meat?</i></div>
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<i>Or crust and sugar over--</i></div>
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<i>like a syrupy sweet?</i></div>
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<i>Maybe it just sags</i></div>
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<i>like a heavy load.</i></div>
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<i>Or does it explode? </i></div>
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<i>-Langston Hughes</i></div>
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I read <i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Raisin_in_the_Sun" target="_blank">A Raisin in the Sun </a></i>today. I've been wanting to read it for a while, ever since I found out that Lorraine Hansberry, the author, was the first black woman to have a play on Broadway. <i>Raisin </i>made it to Broadway against all odds, though some theorize that it's because white Americans ignored the clear racial aspects of the play and instead chose to connect with the characters because "they were a typical middle class family." Because their problems and issues and feelings clearly were not influenced by their race. </div>
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A few days ago, I read Ta-Nehisi Coates' <i><a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/06/the-case-for-reparations/361631/" target="_blank">The Case for Reparations</a>. </i>I've never given reparations much thought, just assuming that they would never happen because of how much money they would cost, money that we don't have at all.</div>
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Today, a video was released of a police officer killing Alton Sterling. He was armed, but in an open carry state. Because, you know, we're American and very into guns. What we don't talk about, but black people clearly know, is that this rule isn't meant for us. When people complain about their guns being taken away, they are white. </div>
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Black people have never been able to have guns. The law says we are allowed to. The people disagree. The people are the government. The government is this country. "We, the people." </div>
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I'm tired of respectability. I don't aim to earn the respect of someone who believes that a black person must have a fully formed debate ready whenever we state that our lives matter. I know that my voice is just one of many, that it might not be heard at all, especially since I'm so upset. That's fine. I'll stand with Michael Brown and Trayvon Martin and Tamir Rice and other teens whose voices will never be heard again. </div>
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There is a fucking problem. It needs to be admitted. </div>
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But that is not the only step. </div>
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It is not simple enough for other people to just say "Black lives matter." For them to be silent on this issue. They don't even need to speak - they need to push for better laws to protect us, to put pressure on police departments. Of course, I write this having already made up my mind. I do not think things will change, not unless the police system is completely stripped down and changed. </div>
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There is a fundamental problem. The issue is that so many institutions were founded with white people in mind, and they were never changed. In the Coates article previously mentioned, he makes several statements that resonated profoundly with me. He says that America has stacked up so many horrors, so many things done to black people, that were never acknowledged. He says it's like someone racking up debt on a credit card, then deciding not to use it, but being confused when the debt does not magically disappear.</div>
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The thing is that the debt continues to build. It grows and grows and grows. Black people can see it, but it seems as though no one else can. </div>
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This is a heavy load that black people carry with them every day. Every single day. If you're not thinking about it, you see a cop staring at you and wonder if this could be the day that something happens. You wonder what picture of you they'll use. You'll wonder if you would've ever gotten the chance to make something of yourself.</div>
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It goes further than murder, though. Because that's what this is. Our people are slaughtered in the street. It is like Civil War "Reconstruction," like the 50s and the 60s that people think back to when they think about "real" racism toward black people. They think about strange fruit hanging from trees, the Klansmen standing in pictures and demanding that negroes leave. </div>
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There is a petition calling for Jesse Williams to be fired from Grey's Anatomy for making his amazing speech at the BET Awards. I was called a nigger at least three times last week on Twitter for speaking about cultural appropriation. Justin Timberlake spoke down to a black man who told him to apologize for his appropriation and treatment of Janet Jackson. </div>
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He won't acknowledge that he stole. That he stole our cornrows and our clothes and our way of speech. No, it was all his idea. It's cool, because we're "the same on the inside." But let a black person dress that way, wear cornrows, and they're ghetto. They won't get the same jobs. Timberlake can pull down Janet's costume, exposing her, and she'll be the one banned from award shows.</div>
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Black people are the ones who lose jobs, who are viewed on the same level as white people with crime records even when holding college degrees. We're the ones who get turned away after internships because of our hair, because of our manner of speech. Then the same white people take these things and deem them "cool", but only for them.</div>
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Guns are only for them. Happiness is only for them.</div>
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In <i>Raisin, </i>a family wants to move to a predominately white neighborhood. After closing the deal, a white man from this neighborhood offers to buy the house from them, paying even more on top of that sum. He came on behalf of his white neighbors. "You'll be happier in a colored neighborhood," he said. "You can't force people's hearts to change."</div>
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I thought about how that's still similar. How the worth of a home can go down after black people move in. How so much of the world is still segregated, specifically the major city I live close to - in Manhattan, black people live on one side of Park Avenue, where houses are falling apart and kids aren't finishing school, and white people live on the other, where there are chauffeurs and chances and hopes and dreams and happiness.</div>
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Money buys happiness. It does, really. Tell a black kid living in Flint that money wouldn't buy them happiness. Tell any black kid that, because we tend to be stuck in poverty. In apartments breaking down, like in <i>Raisin, </i>in places without sunshine. Here is where we should be happy. </div>
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In <i>Raisin, </i>no one wants the sister to be a doctor. White people do not want us to move up, to change things. They tell us that we would be better off if we worked harder, but that's not true. We work hard just to stay in the same places. We're stuck. All because of money that was stolen from us years ago, where white people were earning money. White men were earning money they passed through their families, while black people were sharecropping, receiving faulty loans, not being eligible for programs that could've helped us.</div>
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White people were given a head start, and we were held back. Somehow, we're measured on the same scale, despite these major differences. </div>
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In <i>Raisin, </i>the main male character speaks of all he wants to do. Of what he wants to give his son. Of having the freedom to pick, to fly, to soar up high. Of being able to move up the ladder, to actually live the dream that America is known for. He wants his hard work to count for something. He does not want to be stuck, nor does he want this for his son. </div>
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I feel the same. I want to be remembered. I want to make art that people love and take in over and over again. Even more, I want security. I want money, no matter how much I'm lectured about it. I want to have enough to ensure a future for my family, for others, for <i>myself. </i>I want to be able to have power. I want to bypass all of the white gatekeepers who have so much power. I want to provide ways for other black people, for us to tell stories. For us to write bestselling books and win Oscars and any other things that we might think to be unbelievable. </div>
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But then I look at the black people being killed in the street. </div>
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I look at how things do not change. I look at how many times this happens. </div>
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I grow tired of saying the same things. I see my brothers and sisters growing tired.</div>
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I do not want to be too tired to be rich one day, to have a production company, to make movies and plays and books. I fear that this will happen. I fear that I will die before this happens. I fear that my dreams and my goals will be stolen away from me. I fear that I'll fall into a cycle that my family has, that so many black people have, of being stuck. Of being poor, unable to move.</div>
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I'm scared of being slaughtered in the street like an animal. I'm scared of the people who are supposed to protect me. I'm scared of white people.</div>
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But even more so, more than being scared, I'm angry. </div>
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White people steal. They steal and steal and steal. They steal our bodies and our hopes and our dreams and our chances. This is murder, it is gaslighting, it is abuse. It is outrageous. It is disgusting. It is despicable. It has to be proven, over and over again. It is ignored, because white people benefit from it. They benefit from us being down, by the system in place and built into, by living in their own worlds. </div>
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You telling me Black Lives Matter is the bare fucking minimum. Don't act like you're doing something for me, when this is known to black people. When we say it all of the time, even when we're ridiculed and killed and torn apart. Even when we walk the streets and protest and bring this to court. Nothing is changing. </div>
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What am I supposed to do about it? </div>
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I suppose that I'll wait for it to explode. When riots happen, black people are called animals. They're just waiting for an excuse to dehumanize us, and they love when we act like normal people and they can use it. If these things happened to white people, there would be riots from everyone. Black people riot because we're in pain. Because we're ignored.</div>
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Because, what else are we supposed to do?</div>
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Camryn</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14113864646645082197noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2440001500799740491.post-30300294720707674742016-06-11T20:26:00.002-05:002016-06-11T20:33:43.185-05:00#Ham4Cam<div style="text-align: center;">
GUYS. I WENT TO HAMILTON TODAY. </div>
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I'm actually kind of weirded out, because I didn't have any feelings today. I think it's because I've been having issues with my depression (I can assure you that it was totally better today), and I think that's why I had issues registering what was going on. But seriously, I just had this constant feeling of euphoria in my stomach the entire time. </div>
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For those of you who haven't been clued in on the entire journey, I'll start from the beginning. </div>
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I've wanted to see Hamilton since last October, when my mom asked me what I wanted to do for my sixteenth birthday. I thought it was so cool that there was a rap musical on Broadway, and even better, that the cast was made up of all POC (with the exception of the actor who plays King George and one or two members of the ensemble.) It was super difficult to find tickets back <i>then. </i></div>
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Anyway, let's flashforward to May. The show released a new round of tickets, and I didn't make it fast enough. The only ones available were resale, and I couldn't afford any of them (the lowest price was 800 dollars and on Ticketmaster, there's not always the option to just buy one ticket.) I was pretty bummed, especially since my school went on a gigantic field trip to see Hamilton back in March.</div>
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The reason why I didn't get to go is because I wasn't old enough. The school board only approved it for juniors and seniors, plus 60 faculty members. It was this huge thing - 11 coach busses, they met the cast after the show, the other newspaper editors got to go backstage and ask questions. I'm still pretty bitter about it, honestly, because it sounds so awesome and I didn't get to go. Those kids didn't pay anything, while my ticket cost 1200+ and NO ONE LET ME BACKSTAGE. </div>
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But I digress. </div>
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I started a <a href="https://www.gofundme.com/Ham4Cam" target="_blank">GoFundMe</a>, at the suggestion of my lovely agent Emily, and we called the whole thing #Ham4Cam. I didn't think that I would be able to go, honestly. I wanted to write this blog post for all of you who donated and spread the word, because you are the reason why I got to go. Super shoutout to my badass anonymous donor who got me to my goal! I screamed when I found out that I was going to go to Hamilton, after fundraising for only 21 days. </div>
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Since resale tickets suck, my mom and I actually had to pay over a hundred dollars out of pocket for some "handling" fee that Ticketmaster charges. But other than that, I got to go to Hamilton for free. I wouldn't have been able to do it if it weren't for you guys. </div>
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I got there early, and was super surprised that I could see from up so high. I sat next to a lovely young lady who was just as excited as me, and had also come alone. It was great having someone to cry/scream with every few seconds. There were many members of the original cast: Lin-Manuel (!!!), Daveed Diggs, Phillipa Soo, Renée Elise Goldsberry, Christopher Jackson, Okieriete Onaodowan, and Anthony Ramos were all there. They weren't the only ones who were amazing - everyone was, including the understudies and ensemble. There was so much going on that I didn't know where to look. </div>
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I felt like a little kid going to Disney World for the first time after marathoning the movies.</div>
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There were times where I wanted to cry but I couldn't. I just felt it in my stomach and my chest and I couldn't believe how absolutely <i>real </i>it was. I couldn't believe that this was the musical I'd listened to countless times before, in front of me, with its amazing cast and choreography and the stage and everything. It was so difficult to remember everything that I wanted to, but here are a few key points: </div>
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-Thank God for Daveed. We don't deserve him. He made me laugh so much.</div>
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-My Schuyler Sisters! They honestly did act like sisters, which I loved so much. During their first song, I almost jumped out of my seat. It was just so perfect that I couldn't handle it. </div>
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-I didn't really react to the show until Yorktown. Well, that's not entirely accurate. You see, I was laughing and clapping and singing along with everyone else. I was just in awe, and couldn't really register anything until HERCULES MULLIGAN. I started screaming then, and couldn't stop laughing. It felt like the end of a movie, where you know that all of the horrible stuff is over and you get to live in happiness forever. </div>
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-Anthony Ramos pretending to be nine. Enough said. </div>
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-Everyone who worked in the theater was really nice. I've been to lots of other shows before, but have never really interacted with anyone. Maybe it was because I was by myself this time, but I definitely noticed how awesome they were, especially the ushers. </div>
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-Each song got, like, at least two minutes worth of clapping. Except for when the transitions were so fast that you didn't get any time to clap. </div>
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I don't know how else to describe the show except for pure magic. That's what it felt like, honestly. I had a vague idea of what it would be like in my head, but seeing it acted out with just so much behind it was beautiful. I was actually upset that I didn't cry at the end, but all of my feelings just felt stuck inside of me. </div>
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I really wish that I could've spoken to members of the cast, the pit, backstage, anyone, just to tell them how awesome the show was. And I know it wasn't just the cast (even if they were so goddamn amazing), because seeing it live made it ten times more magical. Not even better. It just made me want to soak it all in and try to remember it for as long as possible. </div>
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I think the best part of the show wasn't how amazing it was. It's that it was so amazing while almost everyone I looked at was a POC. It's like, visual proof that POC are amazing and can handle themselves and make creative things. It's what POC have been trying to say for <i>years, </i>and the long line and screaming crowd just proved it to be true. </div>
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I just kept staring at Lin and wondering how it feels to look at something so absolutely fantastic, so breathtaking, so stunning, that it took sucked of my emotions away for two hours and forty five minutes. I'm sorry that I can't articulate the feeling further, but I was just looking at him and I was so thankful for this. That he fought through all of the difficult moments in his life, as a person and as a writer, and told this story. </div>
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That I was able to see it. </div>
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I can't imagine that he will ever know how much this meant to me, how much it has inspired me, and I probably won't even be part of his story. But he is part of mine, a large part, especially since he has proved to me that my background and appearance and my life will all help me break barriers and records and be extraordinary. </div>
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I heard so much of myself in his lyrics, from "I've imagined death so much it feels more like a memory" to "There's a million things I haven't done, just you wait." </div>
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Even though I haven't been suicidal in a long while, I haven't loved life in almost as long. It feels like something I have to struggle through in hopes that it might someday get better. Today, at least, I felt like life could be amazing. I'm so glad that I'm alive right now, that I'm alive during the same time that Hamilton is on Broadway and speaking to people, and that I got to experience this. </div>
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I won't always remember the show, but I'll remember how much it empowered me. I hope that one day I can reference it in a speech.</div>
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Dying is easy, but living is <i>so </i>much harder. But I am the one thing in life I can control, and I know that I am an original. I'm young, scrappy, and hungry and I'm not throwing away my shot because I know history has it's eyes on me. </div>
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Guys, I am so <i>so </i>lucky to be alive right now. </div>
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xo,</div>
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Camryn</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14113864646645082197noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2440001500799740491.post-21369984993235147122016-04-30T23:48:00.001-05:002016-04-30T23:48:25.567-05:00excuse me my nigga<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm back! Here I am, writing because the White House Correspondents Dinner is today, Larry Wilmore hosted, and it was brilliant. I'm going to miss Barack Obama so much that I can't even describe it. </div>
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Moving on, Larry said "nigga" during one of his jokes. And I'm trying to beat out all of the think pieces from white writers who will write about why the word makes them uncomfortable and why it shouldn't be said. </div>
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I'm so not about this. Like, at all. </div>
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Earlier this year, I went to a meeting for a school club. People from my school follow me on Twitter now, so I won't get too specific, but we were talking about how other schools aren't <i>nearly </i>as "diverse" as ours is. I don't know how it led to the conversation we ended up having, but I remember talking about code switching. I talked about how there are differences in the way black people talk to other black people and the way they talked to white people.</div>
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I said that white people should not be saying nigga. And people got upset, including one of the teachers, who felt it necessary to say that she was Italian (because somehow that makes her more qualified to speak on the subject?) and that no one should be saying the word because it's disgusting.</div>
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I didn't get the chance to say anything else, because another black student agreed with her. And there was a bunch of applause, which drowned me out. Anyway, I won't tell you about how I took a survey of black students, asking them about how they felt about the word. That I ranted to my black friends. </div>
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I'm going to tell you why this discussion, mainly having it with white people, irritates me to no end:</div>
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1) <b>White people made up the word, and black people have repurposed it: </b>Nigga was originally a word seeped in hate. I know that, and you know that. We all know that. But when black people say it, they're using it in greeting. They're using it in a way to call out to friends, to describe themselves. </div>
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When I try to explain this, I usually compare it to women calling themselves "bitches" - something that men often do as an insult. They're owning the word, changing it into something else so that it can no longer be used to hurt them. That's what black people do with nigga. </div>
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2) <b>THE SELECTIVE PEARL CLUTCHING:</b></div>
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Okay, pearl clutching is pretty self explanatory - it refers to old movies and such where women used to clutch their pearls in shock and dismay. It's a term people use to refer to the shock and dismay of others in an annoying way, to boil it down. </div>
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Examples of things people clutch their pearls at: kids running around without shoes, someone getting upset at teen sex being displayed in YA, people getting upset about cursing. Little things that they just get upset about for no real reason. </div>
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Anyway, I love how white people love to get all upset about what a horrible word nigga is. Of course, they understand more about racism than the black people who use it. Of course, amidst all of the other shit black people have to deal with (including poverty, death at the hands of police, being treated as second class citizens, etc.), this is one of the things they get super upset about. Why? </div>
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3) <b>The entitlement: </b></div>
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When white people tell me that nigga is a horrible word that no one should be able to say, this is what I hear: "Since I can't say it, no one else should be able to say it, either." </div>
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It's a word for black people. I get that it can be difficult to come to terms with a word your ancestors probably said (or still do say) casually, and that there's so much hatred connected to it. That's something valid that you sort of have to deal with. If you told me you felt uncomfortable when people said it because you hear mean grandparents say it, I get that. If you were my friend, I probably wouldn't say it around you. </div>
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That doesn't mean you can just say no one gets to say it. It's like someone who is a vegetarian because they hate the way animals are treated trying to tell everyone they can't eat meat. Go ahead, argue if you'd like - obviously not all of the time, because that gets irritating and I'd drop you. But to presume that a word should be discontinued just because you feel guilty/bothered by it is SUCH an entitled thing to believe that I can't even run with it. </div>
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4) <b>The superiority complex: </b>Okay, this goes along with the whole theme of tone policing, but still applies to the nigga conversation. I remember sitting in school the day that meeting and thinking about how pompous that teacher sounded.</div>
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I have to stop here, because I have to say she's not a bad person. At all. I don't think this woman is horrible or anything because of how she approaches this word. I know many white people who think nigga is a horrible word (which I understand) and think no one should say it. So, the fact that I'm critiquing her on this doesn't make her horrible. She's actually lovely, and good about other things.</div>
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<br />Anyway. </div>
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When people tell me that black people shouldn't be saying nigga, they sound paternal. It makes more sense in my situation, because she was a teacher and I was a student. But a lot of times there are grown white people saying this to grown black people. Adults. </div>
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It comes across as white people going, "Oh dearie, you don't understand that we created this word to hate you even more. This must be an inside joke of sorts, because the blacks don't get it. Since I'm a nice white person, I'll let them know." </div>
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The fact is that black people don't have to be educated on the subject - and not on tone or dialect as a whole. Lots of times, you get people going, "Sweetie, you sound too angry. I can't understand you." I see people saying this to black women when they discuss how their sons were <i>murdered </i>in the street. </div>
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Black people can be talking about something super important, like being poisoned or treated horribly or being in poverty, but white people will still critique their tone. It's just a way for them to avoid the subject, but also exert this false sense of superiority. </div>
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"The way I speak is correct, so you must emulate it." </div>
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"No one can take you seriously if you're so emotional." </div>
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"Since you speak with slang, you must not be intelligent." </div>
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And so on and so forth. The fact of the matter is that a black person could have PHD, could be speaking in textbook terms, could have references and a speech prepared, but if a white person doesn't want to hear it, the conversation is shut down. </div>
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5) <b>They bring up the discussion in the black community as a "got-cha:" </b>This is the part I hate the most. I remember how betrayed I felt when I sat in that chair, surrounded by white people and black people who didn't agree with me. </div>
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Black people have a right not to want to use nigga. They have a right to disagree with it. It's sort of like how I say "queer" all the time, and identify that way, but some older LBGTQIA people find it offensive. It's different depending on who you are and what you've experienced. </div>
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If I had been given the choice, I would've chosen to speak to white students, black students, and other non-black POC all at different times. It might sound...I don't know, stupid, but it's really difficult to speak up about things like this in real life. I know that I know what I'm talking about, but black people might disagree. And that's fine. But it sucks to feel so small and like people are ready to jump on you, while the people you look forward to for support are "on their side." </div>
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(There are no sides, but that's how I felt in that moment.)</div>
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Anyway, white people are allowed to have feelings, as I said previously. I know that a lot of white people don't like to use it because they grew up during the 60s/70s/80s and experienced the word being used with hatred in abundance. However, they just don't get to control whether or not black people use the word. And I'm not about to argue with a teacher about it, because...</div>
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Well.</div>
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As for black people - I personally don't mind the use of the word, but I don't mind discussing the topic with black people. It's just that I think it should be a discussion to be had in the black community. I truly don't think that we're going to get everyone to stop saying nigga, especially since it's not seen as overly negative when black people say it. </div>
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But again, I know that I don't say it around my parents or grandparents because - well, first of all, they'd probably hit me - but also because they grew up in a different time. I think my parents were in their late teens (ha, they'll kill me if they read this) when groups like NWA were first getting popular. </div>
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My mom remembers moving into an all white neighborhood and "Go back home niggers" being spray painted on their garage. My grandmother remembers that people used to call her father "Uncle" instead of "Sir," a sign of disrespect in North Carolina when she was growing up. There are a lot of reasons why black people don't like the word, and don't want it used. </div>
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But it's our word to decide on, and we don't need any help from the white community.</div>
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xoxo.</div>
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Camryn </div>
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PS: NON-BLACK POC SHOULD <b>NOT </b>BE SAYING NIGGA, EITHER! There is anti-blackness in lots of different cultures, which makes me sad, but there are black slurs used for black people in lots of different languages. I feel it's different with POC, because they understand a lot of what it's like to be treated this way by white people, but there are still differences.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14113864646645082197noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2440001500799740491.post-24182317785562627862016-03-12T12:25:00.000-06:002016-03-12T12:25:29.002-06:00exposure isn't enough, fam<div style="text-align: center;">
I haven't written anything about this, because it's just started to bother me recently. I don't know how else to go about talking about this, so I'll just ask outright: why doesn't any website pay their writers? Why are writers expected to write for free?</div>
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Now, I'm being super dramatic. There are definitely websites that pay their writers. Lots of times they don't pay teen writers, or anyone without a degree. But I digress. </div>
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There are websites that are so large, that have such a large reach, and still don't pay the people who write for them. I don't understand. Actually, I do. It's nicer to get a bunch of content from people who don't get paid. Even if the content is shitty. </div>
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Because, like it or not, these people are providing a service. They are sitting down and spending time to write a post, to edit it, to reread it before sending it it. They are spending time to share this post, adding more traffic to this website overall. </div>
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So not only does this happen <i>a lot</i>, but it also happens to teens.</div>
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I know a lot of friends who like to write for websites, and I don't blame them. It's great to see something that you wrote on the <i>internet</i>, for it to be retweeted and talked about like an actual <i>thing. </i>To be treated seriously. For your ideas to finally matter.</div>
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I think this also happens to black women a lot, to religious minorities, all sorts of people. That's another big part of this - minorities working for free. Teenagers working for free. People in general working for free. </div>
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Writing <i>is </i>work, as if I need to remind you guys. </div>
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I didn't mind when I first started writing, because I was so excited that people were finally taking me seriously. That I was actually getting recognition for my writing. I don't know when this changed - maybe when people stopped answering my emails, stopped answering the emails of my friends. </div>
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It's one thing to work for free, but it's another thing to be working for free <i>and </i>be treated like an inconvenience. I don't know about you, but I've reached the point where I need to be paid. Not for <i>everything</i>, because there are some things I just want to do. </div>
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But if I'm doing interviews or writing or whatever, I think that my time is valuable. </div>
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Exposure is awesome. Writing for free has gotten me a lot of exposure, and I've met so many awesome people because of it. It's opened doors for me. But, at the same time, it's made me realize that I deserve better. </div>
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I'm not saying that you should quit your job or position or whatever (though, if you're not getting paid, I doubt it's actually a <i>job</i>.) But I do think that we should keep in mind that our time is valuable. Our words are valuable. We have to find some middle ground between wanting to share that and needing to eat. </div>
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Don't let people take advantage of you because you're young. Or because you're black. Or because you're a woman or queer. Maybe you're trans or Muslim or Jewish or something. Being different shouldn't mean that you have to work for free. </div>
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Some people might say that you're entitled. Let them. They'll say that you're foolish. Let them. Ultimately, what matters most is:</div>
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A) How you feel about yourself and your work</div>
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B) How you feel yourself </div>
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(In no certain order.)</div>
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I once read that white America has been calling black people lazy ever since we stopped working for free. That might not apply to you, but it also is something to think about.</div>
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xoxo,</div>
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Camryn</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14113864646645082197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2440001500799740491.post-86231718137984301272016-03-08T22:07:00.001-06:002016-03-08T22:07:07.901-06:00internalized misogyny and white feminism (omg ladies CHILL)<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't know why, but I was under the impression that we, as a group, had moved past shaming other women. I guess I'm really sheltered within my own group of homies and Twitter peeps, since I haven't seen it THIS MUCH lately. </div>
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It's all Kim Kardashian's fault.</div>
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Well, let me explain. I don't want to start off by saying that I severely dislike her, because that's not really the point at hand. She posted a selfie the other day. It was a nude selfie. She wasn't wearing any clothes, took a picture, and posted it online.</div>
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Lots of people already think that she's a slut or a whore or whatever, so this was sort of like icing on the cake. I didn't really expect a lot of people to be so upset, because it's not like this is new for her. But for some reason, people got really outraged. Especially celebrity women. So I have a few examples:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivJ_6xQWgWqJ3nJ05hflV9KIT2MtQqCHCdpRWnD7YnvxAZ6d5jGz4sq2vRmQImO-RjoBkVpfN5P0rJkWpr3XbWfv9aHw0bR5_w1B2vdy2mm3WWMX7epdWHYNixp3mfY2IGkSaExBY7Bdix/s1600/Screen+Shot+2016-03-08+at+10.42.50+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="187" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivJ_6xQWgWqJ3nJ05hflV9KIT2MtQqCHCdpRWnD7YnvxAZ6d5jGz4sq2vRmQImO-RjoBkVpfN5P0rJkWpr3XbWfv9aHw0bR5_w1B2vdy2mm3WWMX7epdWHYNixp3mfY2IGkSaExBY7Bdix/s320/Screen+Shot+2016-03-08+at+10.42.50+PM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-4K9qIpFCb2N8fHC1TnC3ASqsArGcES7fpGwKVN27luWgSV6RkTD417hK_hMLBlcJl1AIim7NFASzE5VLVZfAJ9GhoxmaVd5CvKvVHVJd-rTCzC8lz8enpw4kEMXox_sZKfg5ge5tmnF2/s1600/Screen+Shot+2016-03-08+at+10.42.40+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="134" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-4K9qIpFCb2N8fHC1TnC3ASqsArGcES7fpGwKVN27luWgSV6RkTD417hK_hMLBlcJl1AIim7NFASzE5VLVZfAJ9GhoxmaVd5CvKvVHVJd-rTCzC8lz8enpw4kEMXox_sZKfg5ge5tmnF2/s320/Screen+Shot+2016-03-08+at+10.42.40+PM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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And I saved the best for last. This was tweeted by Pink (screenshotted in case she deletes it): </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPPJcs_Xf1gJCpBiNRmBUUbfiOtWlugjN3ZPeCmEZpi8fD2SP7KA77eIjy_jI0c_hv3PUzWZWL9HboGpEkJ1ns2BpqFmUL9VJkKGCO4UakuHYMGDsRX8W1lHfOljXHSW8SRxt-zDL2ykQm/s1600/CdErWz6UIAErOJH.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPPJcs_Xf1gJCpBiNRmBUUbfiOtWlugjN3ZPeCmEZpi8fD2SP7KA77eIjy_jI0c_hv3PUzWZWL9HboGpEkJ1ns2BpqFmUL9VJkKGCO4UakuHYMGDsRX8W1lHfOljXHSW8SRxt-zDL2ykQm/s320/CdErWz6UIAErOJH.jpg" width="275" /></a></div>
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I guess that I'll start by saying that I'm so disappointed in these ladies. They all present themselves as being such symbols of feminism and girl power. I suppose that this one instance doesn't strip away everything that they've done and stood for, but it does reveal much about their thoughts. This leads me to wonder how much they can support women with these mind sets.</div>
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While I get that Kim Kardashian is irritating, I feel like there's a difference between saying that and shaming her for her body. Yes, she got famous for no reason. Yes, she doesn't have any talent. I know that no one likes her. But the fact that she has managed to stay famous is <i>something. </i>But let's forget all of that - she's still a woman. A grown ass woman. She's still a person.</div>
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Do you know what that means? She can do whatever the <i>fuck she wants.</i></div>
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I don't understand what the point of feminism is if it doesn't advocate for women being equal to men. That's what these women claim to be doing, but they're not. Why do they think that their ideas of what is "correct" are law? Why does Kim have to abide by them? This is a reason why a lot of women are turned off of feminism. </div>
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Look. Kim makes money by doing lots of things. One of those things happens to be displaying her body. Great! She's rich and successful! I don't know why all these ladies are jumping at Kim, though. And not all of the other people who pose naked.</div>
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<a href="http://images.celebpose.com/pink-aka-alecia-moore-topless-in-bryan-adams-photoshoot_bd1675e5-c185-44fe-ac5c-d4bf4a4544bd.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://images.celebpose.com/pink-aka-alecia-moore-topless-in-bryan-adams-photoshoot_bd1675e5-c185-44fe-ac5c-d4bf4a4544bd.jpg" height="320" width="220" /></a> </div>
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Like, homies, why is it different when you do it? I don't understand the shaming of Kim. Just because she poses naked doesn't mean that she has a lack of morals or goals or anything of the sort. I feel like discussing this in regards to Kim Kardashian is tricky, because she does do a lot of stupid things (like cultural appropriation CONSTANTLY.) </div>
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But we aren't talking about that here. </div>
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When it comes down to it, a woman's body shouldn't be sexualized in the first place. The fact is that our bodies have been sexualized by society, and I get that. I just don't agree with it. I also don't think that posting a naked picture means that someone doesn't have any respect for herself. </div>
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Chris Hemsworth/The Rock/lots of other hot guys take off their shirts CONSTANTLY. Walk around in boxers in movies or even out in the street. The Rock has posted a large sum of pictures without a shirt on, which can be viewed on his Twitter account. No one is lecturing them about their lack of self respect. </div>
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Part of being equal to men is having the same control of our bodies as they do. When a woman can't post a picture of herself without being shamed BY OTHER WOMEN, there's definitely a problem. Especially if these women claim to be feminists. </div>
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That sort of thinking is so <i>outdated. </i>I can't believe that I'm hearing this from people like Chloe Moretz and Pink. This also ties in with the topic of <i>white feminism</i>, which I've spoken about a lot before. I guess feminism is only helpful when you're trying to sell movie tickets or records and need to talk about girl power? It doesn't apply when it comes to female sex workers or, you know, women who want to post pictures.</div>
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(By the way, white feminism is when a woman is only into feminism for herself. Feminism is supposed to be about all women. Not just one type of woman, whether that is one who has white skin or one who doesn't pose for naked pictures.)</div>
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Being uncomfortable with nudity isn't bad. Thinking that it is degrading isn't <i>bad, </i>necessarily. I just don't understand why one person's opinion should be a law that everyone else has to abide by. If you think that posing naked reflects poorly on yourself, don't do it. No one is telling you to give Kim K a hi-five. Just let her do her thing. </div>
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I don't mean to frame this like "women against women" is the issue. No, this is truly the issue of internalized patriarchy. </div>
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I was having a conversation with two lovely ladies on Twitter earlier today about reprogramming yourself. What I pulled from this conversation was this - the thoughts that we think first are almost like reflexes. What we think next is most important. We've been fed so many messages through society that taught us to hate and police ourselves. I'm not going to pretend that unlearning isn't a thing, and a difficult one at that.</div>
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So, by calling these women out (or whatever), I don't mean to demonize them or distance them or say that their feminism is sub-par. My hope (even though none of them will probably read this), is that explaining why this mode of thinking/acting is damaging will lead to awareness. If women are aware of internalized patriarchy, they're one step closer toward fighting it off.</div>
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But sometimes, ladies are just jerks. I guess this could be another one of those things. I'm not going to let myself believe that, though.</div>
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xoxo,</div>
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Camryn</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14113864646645082197noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2440001500799740491.post-57031420121043137272015-12-26T12:11:00.000-06:002015-12-26T12:11:19.577-06:00Day 1: Umoja<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm back!! And it's the first day of Kwanzaa, which means that it's the first part of this new blog series I'm going to try out. There are a few things that you need to know beforehand: </div>
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-Kwanzaa doesn't have any religious connections to it. I mean, I guess it could if someone wanted to? But overall, the holiday is about celebrating principles (Nguzo Saba) and family and our connection to Africa as a whole, basically. </div>
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-<i>Habari Gani </i>is Swahili for "What is the news?" If someone greets you that way, you're supposed to respond with the Nguzo Saba of the day. Someone told me that people who aren't of African descent just say "Joyus Kwanzaa," but if you know the Nguzo Saba, I don't think it matters.</div>
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As for today....</div>
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The Nguzo Saba is Umoja, meaning unity! </div>
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Yay! When my mom gets home, we'll light the black candle on the kinara (the candle holder), because that always goes first. On the first day, my family usually decorates, even though we should probably do that before. We make bendera (Kwanzaa flags), lay out the muhindi (ears of corn for each child), and mazao (fruits representing productivity, which I eat when no one looks.) </div>
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We also sit around and discuss the principal of the day and what it means to us. </div>
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This year, when I think of unity, I think of my friends and family and how they have held me up. It seems like years ago that I went to the hospital because I wanted to die, but it was really just this February. My friends encouraged me to go, and basically held my hand after I was released. </div>
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The social worker at school encouraged me to go. A girl from our peer support club told me that it wouldn't be that bad, that I would get better. Even while I was there, the other girls sort of helped (despite the fact that no one wanted to be there.)</div>
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I think of unity when I think about protestors and Black Lives Matter. </div>
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I think of unity when I think of my friends also in publishing, DMing and texting behind the scenes about how crazy we go. </div>
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I think of unity when I think of my mother always getting things done, no matter what odds are stacked against her. </div>
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To me, unity means people coming together to help someone. And that's hella rad. </div>
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xoxo, </div>
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Camryn </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14113864646645082197noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2440001500799740491.post-86548198747044053702015-12-06T12:10:00.001-06:002015-12-06T12:22:41.980-06:00let's talk about sex baby (with Ayesha Curry)<div style="text-align: center;">
Really quickly: Ayesha Curry tweeted some things about modesty and clothing and trends today. Some people are getting upset, but from what I've seen, more people are getting upset that people are upset. Does that make sense? I think I've seen a lot of people laughing about this being a thing.</div>
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ANYWAY. The tweets: </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKoAIdo85iA5POyeQHaXKtyoj3VMet1Na-os97wDMxL-3k5YBv3iT8WbnuFFnask0daVDFaPDVqebuf2KzCkRKPNycTc-Xj9OoaqgYlcEfgivrhJCK5-eAeHZFImsIXCPtnSHZLW49IHmh/s1600/Screen+Shot+2015-12-06+at+1.17.01+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="188" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKoAIdo85iA5POyeQHaXKtyoj3VMet1Na-os97wDMxL-3k5YBv3iT8WbnuFFnask0daVDFaPDVqebuf2KzCkRKPNycTc-Xj9OoaqgYlcEfgivrhJCK5-eAeHZFImsIXCPtnSHZLW49IHmh/s320/Screen+Shot+2015-12-06+at+1.17.01+PM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3Q1vgUWfKhwfv61ad8WbKbSLFzn-U1tGufmzF0BqFWoNkZmEw17YvgtzmWsm5vtUuFQe2mDOMaQ91TZc8BWeoINo0s_q8-J3jxd88SH-GNjJMBNBTcgunh2mPpMKKaBFRuciYKFxQfwBv/s1600/Screen+Shot+2015-12-06+at+1.21.40+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="173" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3Q1vgUWfKhwfv61ad8WbKbSLFzn-U1tGufmzF0BqFWoNkZmEw17YvgtzmWsm5vtUuFQe2mDOMaQ91TZc8BWeoINo0s_q8-J3jxd88SH-GNjJMBNBTcgunh2mPpMKKaBFRuciYKFxQfwBv/s320/Screen+Shot+2015-12-06+at+1.21.40+PM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW8oip4q5hny811BEpY7G6ccuwTqCM_uAv9eRDOi4FyAKI7sU03wI5PQNK1jfuwAW9x8vw1eqDzKiKhivfZvsCXfgZQ5ikP0BCww5VGTc9WGL9PrxRFh-pji2HF4A0i-gzKKUQmuqqfkBQ/s1600/Screen+Shot+2015-12-06+at+1.20.45+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="190" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW8oip4q5hny811BEpY7G6ccuwTqCM_uAv9eRDOi4FyAKI7sU03wI5PQNK1jfuwAW9x8vw1eqDzKiKhivfZvsCXfgZQ5ikP0BCww5VGTc9WGL9PrxRFh-pji2HF4A0i-gzKKUQmuqqfkBQ/s320/Screen+Shot+2015-12-06+at+1.20.45+PM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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So. You know what I'm going to say. But a lot of people on Twitter have just said that she was expressing her preference, or that she was just taking notice of the world, or that "attacking" her is anti-feminist. </div>
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First of all. I don't understand why some people automatically view critiquing as attacking. Ms. Curry posted something on Twitter, which means she knew that people were going to see it. Once you post something on Twitter, people are going to have opinions. Full stop. That's a thing. </div>
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Second, I want to direct you all to<a href="http://thedatingfeminist.tumblr.com/post/134297039334/please-stop-ending-your-critiques-of-bigoted" target="_blank"> this lovely Tumblr post</a> about telling women that they aren't real feminists. I'll quote my favorite parts:</div>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 24px; margin-top: 1em; text-align: start;">
"Feminists can be racist. Feminists can be classist, ableist, transmisogynist, Islamophobic, antisemitic, whorephobic, homophobic, intersexist, terrible people and still be feminists. It makes their feminism tainted and flawed and oppressive and not very useful, but it doesn’t erase it.<br />
Pretending that only people completely free from bigotry are “actual” feminists gives us an excuse to not address the very real problems happening in our movement, by people who are very much a part of it, or even <i>leading</i> parts of it.<br />
To say bigots “aren’t really feminists” allows us to ignore the white supremacist and transmisogynist histories of Western feminist movements, allows us to be self-congratulatory about our own imaginary lack of ingrained prejudice, and neatly absolves us of taking responsibility as a movement for bigotry happening within that movement.<br />
So yes, let’s acknowledge that people can be shitty feminists. But to imply that their shittiness neatly removes them from the movement is to deny the harm that they’re able to do as part of it. And that’s not helpful."</blockquote>
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I personally feel that Ayesha was making a dig at women who "don't wear clothes." Yes, she was expressing her preference, but she implied that her preference was the "right way." Particularly the point where she says that she'd rather be "classy than trendy." </div>
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Women are classy when they are wearing clothes. Women are classy when they aren't wearing clothes. We have different definitions of classy, which is fine. The issue is that being classy means you get respect. Being classy means that people treat you better. When society overwhelmingly believes that women are only "classy" when they dress a certain way, there's a problem.</div>
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Women are deserving of respect no matter what they decide to wear.</div>
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Anyway, Ayesha obviously has her preferences. I have mine. I wish it were easier for me to disagree with her without it becoming some sort of feminist war. People on Twitter are laughing and mocking feminists about getting upset, while feminists are moving in some sort of retaliation, I guess. </div>
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I honestly don't care what Ayesha decides to wear. My issue occurs when it is implied that only certain types of women should get respect. That being, women who "save themselves" for their husbands. I mean, some women don't have husbands. Some women like to only show off to their husbands. Some just want to have sex.</div>
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And sex is totally fine. Women should have as much, or as little, sex as they want.</div>
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I think the thing we have to remember about feminism is that it's about supporting one another. We are going to have disagreements and differences. Some of us are going to get angry at each other, because we all have internalized prejudices. The important part is that we have discussions with each other.</div>
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There's this weird culture, particularly in the United States, where things happen and we don't talk about them. We don't talk about internalized racism or homophobia or anything. We don't talk about events after they happen, even though they still affect the nation.</div>
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I don't want feminism to be like that. When everyone on Twitter is fighting about Ayesha Curry, I want to talk about why. I want my anger to be valid, just like I want the girl I was arguing with on Twitter to be valid. </div>
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The best way to do that is to talk.</div>
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xoxo, </div>
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Camryn</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14113864646645082197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2440001500799740491.post-64886377276501794982015-11-26T12:00:00.000-06:002015-11-26T12:00:05.190-06:00ode to my ancestors: a thanksgiving day treat<div style="text-align: center;">
Since Thanksgiving is about family (and also killing Native peoples with smallpox), I thought that I would include a little blog post for my homies who aren't going to eat pie with me this week. It actually makes me sad, because they seem awesome.</div>
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<b>Great Great Great Great Grandpa Andrew:</b></div>
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Oh my gosh. You were born into slavery, and by the time your life ended, you were a free man. I'm still trying to find out more about you (other than the fact that you had awesome penmanship), but I'm already in awe of you. I hope the strength that you must've had, not only to escape, but to make a new life, is somewhere in my blood.</div>
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<br />I think that you should be the one to get the turkey. You deserve it, big guy.</div>
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<b>Grandpa Lorenzo and Grandpa Cora:</b></div>
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You had ten kids! And a farm! Wow. I also don't know a whole lot about you guys, but the fact that you maintained a gigantic family and a farm at the same time is something to be proud of. Also, you survived racism. Which must've sucked. </div>
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Mashed potatoes for you guys, I think. </div>
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<b>Grandpa Vincent: </b></div>
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I've been trying to find a picture for you for the longest time, and I won't stop looking until I do. My mom and her siblings loved you, but are still hella bitter that you never bought a DeLorean when you had the chance. You sound like you were really cool, like a character from the 80s who wore leather all the time. </div>
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I'd totally name a kid after you.</div>
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(I mean, I'd give your name to a random cherub I see walking through the streets. But the heart is still there.) </div>
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Bonus!</div>
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<b>Frederick Douglass: </b></div>
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How I wish that you were somehow related to me. I'm in love with almost everything that you've written. I feel like you were so ahead of your time, from the ideas you expressed in your writing to your fabulous hair. I wish that you were still here, just so I could meet you and start crying. </div>
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Happy Thanksgiving, guys! I hope that you use this time to hang out with family, no matter who is part of it. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14113864646645082197noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2440001500799740491.post-41376446368812161832015-11-14T20:53:00.000-06:002015-11-14T20:53:02.606-06:00I'm not changing my Facebook icon<div style="text-align: center;">
This post is going to be triggery, I think. Some people also might not like what I have to say, but I'm going to say it anyway, because I think that it's important. </div>
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We're weird about terrorism, here in the United States. Whenever something happens outside of the country, we jump up to "stop it." However, there are conditions on this. I'm fifteen, but from what I've seen, we're the quickest to jump when the people involved in the violence are brown.</div>
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What happened in France was horrible. I'm glad that people are grieving alongside the country, because they need the extra support during this time. However, I've noticed that there are many, many people blaming Islam, even though ISIS is not a Muslim group. In fact, they've killed many Muslims, which is why there are Syrian refugees. </div>
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The refugees are being blamed, even though this is the type of experience they experienced daily in Syria. The type of violence that did not get a hashtag or an option to change your Facebook icon to the colors of the Syrian flag.</div>
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Even though France wasn't the only place to experience violence from ISIS <a href="http://i100.independent.co.uk/article/beirut-baghdad-and-paris-how-24-hours-of-isis-terror-unfolded-around-the-world--ZkWjxFkREFe" target="_blank">(Baghdad and Beirut were also targeted within the same twenty four hours)</a>, I only see people talking about France. At the Democrat Debate, there was a moment of silence for France. On Facebook, there's an option to change your picture to the colors of the French flag. </div>
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France. France. On Facebook, it's all people talk about. People Magazine and the Huffington Post have posted countless articles about it in the last day or so. </div>
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It's not a problem that everyone is talking about France. The problem is that we're <i>only</i> talking about France.</div>
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<br />Why isn't there an option to have the flags of Baghdad or Beirut as my Facebook icon? Why is it that there are only a select few number of articles written about these other countries? Why is it that hatred of refugees and Muslims is being condoned? The fact that we, as a society, are quick to grieve along with France but not Baghdad or Beirut says something about what we think.</div>
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We think that the lives in France are more important. Why? Because it is a Western, and some would say white country.</div>
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Although many people don't want to admit it, we don't seem to care about victims when they're brown. The people who suffer in the Middle East are a bunch of nameless, faceless people to us. Many of us don't know what's going on, besides the fact that we're in a state of constant war. </div>
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It's easy to jump on the issue when the violent ones are brown. When they're the victims, suddenly, we are jumping away. Just recently, with the protests occurring at universities such as Yale and Mizzou, there was the threat of terrorism against black students.</div>
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The reaction? Scorn. Even after the tragedy in France occurred, there were people mocking the protesters at these schools. The protesters who feared that something similar could happen to them because of the color of their skin.</div>
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Why wasn't their fear valid?</div>
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While I was on Twitter today, I saw people linking to a tragedy where <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/03/world/africa/garissa-university-college-shooting-in-kenya.html" target="_blank">147 students were killed in Kenya </a> and was quick to note how no one was talking about it. However, this tragedy occurred in April. The point that the posters were making was that there hadn't been a national outrage over this tragedy.</div>
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I don't remember hearing about this, and neither did the hundreds of people who retweeted. This, and other tragedies such as the disappearances in Mexico, are tossed around for a few minutes before we forget about them. </div>
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What about bringing back our girls? Does anyone remember that?</div>
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I asked some of these questions to my followers on Twitter, and one very smart woman said that many emphasize with the tragedy in France because it reminds them of 9/11. That makes sense - I've seen so many people compare France's support of us during 9/11 to our support of them now.</div>
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But again, the common tropes: brown people initiating the violence, white people being among those who suffer. Is that why we care so much? Are we only able to care about a tragedy when we've experienced something similar? Some might say that it's a basic human trait, to be able to connect to someone who has experienced similar issues as us.</div>
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But why can't we recognize this? Why can't we say that our vision has been clouded since 9/11, which is where the knee jerk reaction comes from, but that we will also grieve for others who have suffered from violence?</div>
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Why don't we ever discuss the fact that we don't care about brown people and their suffering?</div>
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I could give many examples of this. There's the fact that there was a huge uproar and Europe about taking in Syrian refugees. Many people didn't want to do it, despite the large amount of suffering that these refugees faced. Their response was that there wasn't enough money.</div>
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After 9/11, no one mentioned money. We went to war. Even now, when people start discussing the chance of another war, no one is talking about the trillions of dollars of debt that we're in. Obviously, this isn't amount money.</div>
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Or I could bring up the Charleston shootings earlier this year, and how there wasn't an option to change our Facebook icons for that. Dylan Roof was not treated like a terrorist. This tragedy wasn't treated like a terrorist attack, even though this man expressed ideas shared with the KKK, a terrorist organization.</div>
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They bought him lunch. They escorted him nicely.</div>
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Instead of the national grief, all of the people posting on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter, there were debates. Debates over whether or not this had to do with race. I honestly don't remember people caring the way that they care about France. No other countries expressed their grief about this event that "shook our nation." </div>
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Is it because the victims of the Charleston shootings were black? Because the terrorist was white?</div>
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Another point that was brought up on Twitter is that the attacks in France ruin the idealistic vision we have painted, as a society. In movies, commercials, books, everything Paris is the city of lights, of love. The streets sparkle, and the Eiffel Tower shines down on you. Paris was everything we hoped to be. </div>
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Charleston, within our own borders and attempting to sweep institutional racism under the rug, was something that we were trying so desperately to ignore. </div>
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In turn, while I urge you to continue to pray for Paris, I remind you that stories of violence and terrorism are delivered to us in a prepackaged container. We, as Americans from a Western country, see brown people as disposable and violent. That's the way the story will be framed to us. If a story doesn't fit the container, it isn't told.</div>
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So, no. I will not be changing my Facebook icon. I will grieve for France, but also for Kenya, for Baghdad, for Beirut. I will grieve for all of the people affected, including the Muslims and Syrians who will now be targeted even more so than before. </div>
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Because, ultimately, pain doesn't care about color. We're the ones who do.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14113864646645082197noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2440001500799740491.post-17077606248703747622015-11-14T19:18:00.001-06:002015-11-14T19:24:58.700-06:00no, atheism is not guaranteed to make the world a better place <div style="text-align: center;">
I'm tired of stupid comments about religion on Facebook. Radical Christians and radical atheists and generally people of any sort who think that killing in the name of religion is okay bother me. </div>
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Mainly, though, this post is written in response to Tommy Wallach, a lovely author who has basically says a lot of weird things. He, being the extremely smart white dude who must always give an opinion on something (I do the same thing, but I digress), tweeted that the world would be a better place if more people weren't religious.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUHQZJF25Tlu4M_8NRoQqhD2amYGVIj3WADPA7AuYLV0B2B0TSPuwzLhcc48UqwQGws7SkbN6VIKK8zDnYe0nLadpPQ8ZNarQlFvHZvBqsoT7g2iVxN7FrMrVxclxhcoDxFMHPVDwSngUg/s1600/Tommy+is+a+Tool.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUHQZJF25Tlu4M_8NRoQqhD2amYGVIj3WADPA7AuYLV0B2B0TSPuwzLhcc48UqwQGws7SkbN6VIKK8zDnYe0nLadpPQ8ZNarQlFvHZvBqsoT7g2iVxN7FrMrVxclxhcoDxFMHPVDwSngUg/s320/Tommy+is+a+Tool.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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(I could've linked to the tweet, but Mr. Wallach deleted his account, you see..)</div>
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Okay, here's the deal: tragedy happens all of the time. Sometimes more people pay attention to it because of who is involved, and sometimes people ignore it because of where it happens. Tragedy is always going to happen. Even if we get rid of religion. </div>
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That's basically my entire argument right there. </div>
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I understand (sort of) the knee jerk reaction to say that, without religion, there would be less murders and horrible events happening. But there are just so many things wrong with that. </div>
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1) <b>It's such a lazy, general statement: </b>Look, I'm agnostic. I know that religion doesn't do anything for me. I'm guessing that the world would be a better place without radical religion, but that's not what you said. Religion, itself, is a word that includes so many things. There are hundreds of religions (maybe thousands? I don't even know) all over the place. </div>
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Not everyone murders in the name of religion. Full stop. </div>
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2) <b>You're usually talking about one type of religion: </b>Okay, seriously getting deep here. White people usually say this when something happens with Islam, or people who claim to be Muslim, or people they assume to be Muslim. </div>
<br class="Apple-interchange-newline" />
<span style="text-align: center;"> (I say this because the recent events were because of ISIS, which is not a Muslim organization and has, in fact, killed many Muslims, which is why there are so many refugees. But I digress.) </span><br />
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Whenever the KKK comes out and does something painful/disgusting/stupid, I hear people saying that they're horrible and stupid. But no one says that all religion needs to be abolished then. </div>
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Or, you know, when annoying Christians in the GOP say that gay people shouldn't be able to get married. Or that women shouldn't be able to get abortions. When stuff like that happens, we all get angry and rightfully annoyed and we usually come up with better things to say than "the world would be a better place if you guys were to give up your faith." </div>
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3) <b>You ignore the fact that religion <i>works</i> for others: </b>I'm really into learning about my ancestors, and I know that religion helped many of them get through slavery and their generally hard lives. I know that religion helps people grieving for their loved ones. </div>
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Religion isn't always inherently bad. Just because I can't believe in it, and you don't, doesn't mean that there aren't people who totally feel connected to a deity or several. The fact that you're an atheist doesn't mean that atheism is what will keep the world going round.</div>
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4) <b>Atheists have done horrible things:</b> If people are horrible and disgusting, they'll commit horrible and disgusting things, regardless of religion. Stalin killed more than 20, 000, 000 and he had the same idea: he made everyone atheists! By force! And things got so much better in his country! </div>
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(Actually, they didn't. They got worse. Spoiler alert, I guess.) </div>
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Okay, bonus round! Three things our friend Tommy is able to get away with (and also still be a NYT Bestselling author) because he's a white dude: </div>
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1) <b>Saying that he's a feminist because his mom is a pilot: </b></div>
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I legit quote: </div>
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<i><a href="http://www.tommywallach.com/post/113436136895/on-my-friend-andrew-smith-and-witch-hunts" target="_blank">"I’m a feminist. I was raised by a single working mother and she’s still my best friend in the world. If I’m in a room full of dudes for too long, I sorta want to kill myself. When I have a male airline pilot, I get scared. (My mom was the 10th female airline pilot in America, BTW.) I march with feminists under the feminist banner. But this isn’t feminism. This is crass demagoguery, and it cheapens the whole movement it hides behind."</a></i></div>
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I might just be an extremely bitter young girl, because of the racism and sexism and whatnot, but I don't really care if a guy (who does not experience/might not even SEE sexism) feels that women pointing out that Andrew Smith made a sexist comment is a "witch hunt." </div>
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I always hate when white people tell me that getting upset about little things cheapens the anti-racism movement, or when guys tell me that getting upset about little things cheapens the feminist movement. Like. Who made you the voice of reason? Just because you were raised by a hella awesome mom doesn't mean that you're automatically qualified to tell women </div>
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a) what sexism is </div>
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b) how to handle it</div>
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<b>2) Throwing a hissy fit because a black woman said that his black character wasn't written well/kinda sorta racist: </b>I can't even provide a link for this, because this was basically something that happened on Twitter. A black female author (whom I love, so I'm a bit biased) pointed out some things that were weird/potentially racist about the black character in Tommy's book. Here's my version of how things went: </div>
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<b>BH (Black homie):</b> This book is racist. The character isn't well written. Here is why.</div>
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<b>Tommy</b>: WHAT? *shrieks* HOW DARE YOU CALL ME RACIST. NOPE. NOT HAVING IT. WHAT EVEN MAKES YOU QUALIFIED?</div>
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<b>BH</b>: Well, I'm black. But also -</div>
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<b>Tommy</b>: GUYS, CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT SHE SAID ABOUT ME? </div>
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<b>BH</b>: I have actual criticism about why the representation of this black girl is an actual issue -</div>
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<b>Tommy and his homies</b>: OMG WHAT AN ANGRY BLACK LADY</div>
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<b>BH</b>: What</div>
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<b>Tommy</b>: *deletes account*</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0AHjMRS8EClfgiHAhn5UJpAe_VSQlW6iFnZaIdRNNdlpFJn_snvjve6Mu68g-2f-VFMOLsQa21mixwIGzHMTjy1kTge8A7WTXXK11YsJzwAkcMnEEww-Gn2w17NMDqg5FNLMiATZL2xok/s1600/CT0Lr0DVEAAXPee.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0AHjMRS8EClfgiHAhn5UJpAe_VSQlW6iFnZaIdRNNdlpFJn_snvjve6Mu68g-2f-VFMOLsQa21mixwIGzHMTjy1kTge8A7WTXXK11YsJzwAkcMnEEww-Gn2w17NMDqg5FNLMiATZL2xok/s320/CT0Lr0DVEAAXPee.jpg" width="179" /></a></div>
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3) <b>This</b>: This comment about religion.</div>
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I honestly get on authors' cases so much because they have such a big impact. They really do, especially those with NYT bestselling books. When you do something, people (especially teens), notice. You know what else they notice? The reaction to what you did. Whether or not you apologize afterward (how you apologize, how long it takes, etc.) If you seem to be learning at all.</div>
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I have his book under my bed and sometimes I read it and I'm like eh whatever. Your black character bothers me, but who am I to judge? But then I think about the other black girls reading this book, getting excited because there was a black character (like I did), and ultimately feeling let down.</div>
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That's why I wrote something about this tweet.</div>
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xoxo, </div>
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Camryn</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14113864646645082197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2440001500799740491.post-57524005026360501212015-10-24T18:24:00.000-05:002015-10-24T18:24:04.673-05:00fanfiction is amazing!!! some people just suck <div style="text-align: center;">
I'm trying not to only write blog posts when I'm angry about things that happen on the Internet, but I can't help it. I usually need inspiration, and this <a href="http://www.donotlink.com/framed?798734" target="_blank">new "article" on Teen basically did it for me.</a> If you don't want to read it, basically the lady who wrote it wrote about "Nasty AF Teen Wolf Fans" who wrote slash fic. </div>
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Now, for the non fanfiction readers/writers out there - (and seriously, how have you not read fanfic before?) - slash fic is basically a story where the characters are queer and most likely have sex. In the stories this woman spoke about, the dude characters were loving on each other. </div>
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I have so many problems with this. </div>
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1) <b>Why the hells was this woman snooping through fanfiction? </b>She obviously has the right to look, if she wants, but the fact that she then went and wrote an article "exposing the nastiness" is just so weird to me. It's probably because fanfiction feels like a safe space, at least for teenagers. I feel comfortable saying that because I know so many teens who love writing fic, have made friends through it, etc. I started seriously writing because of the comments I received while writing fanfiction.</div>
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I don't know how I would've reacted if someone did this to me. I'm already angry that this lady used other writing for this article. </div>
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2) <b>It's not like the stories were about the actors: </b>I've seen people write fanfic stories about real life actors, speculating what's going on in their sex lives. I think it's really weird and invasive. But...the stories included in this Teen article were about fictional characters. </div>
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Maybe it's just me, but I feel like once characters are tossed out into the world, there's a part of them that belongs to the fans. It's like a weird custody agreement - the creators get them half of the time, and the fans get them the other half. </div>
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3) <b>WHY DID SHE PICK THE GAY FANFICS? </b>For some reason, I can't imagine that the author of this piece would've had the same reaction if she stumbled across heterosexual sex in fanfiction. She picked the slash fic - the gay fic. She's labeling stories about gay characters as wrong. Actually, she's labeling them as "nasty AF," but you know.<br />
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That alone is enough to make me want to drop kick someone.</div>
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4) <b>THE SHAMEEEEEE: </b>When it comes down to it, teen girls are shamed for whatever they do. We're shamed for liking boy bands, or <i>regular</i> bands ("omg why are you wearing a Nirvana shirt do you even know what that is???"). We're shamed for the shows we like and the movies we watch and the books we read. No matter what teen girls do, we're screwed.<br />
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Fan culture is a really cool thing, sometimes. Tumblr and AO3 can spark friendships or goals, but can just be regular release from life. Fanfiction is an escape, like books or movies. The difference is that girls get to control what they consume with fanfiction, and there's <i>actually</i> diversity.<br />
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The fact that teen girls write slash fic isn't a big deal to me. If anything, it helps them express their sexuality in a way that isn't hurting anyone. Writing about two fictional characters making out (or - <i>gasp </i>- having sex) isn't hurting anyone. But shaming girls for doing this can hurt girls.<br />
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Just like shaming us for everything else can. </div>
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xoxo,<br />
Camryn</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14113864646645082197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2440001500799740491.post-5415895070279687842015-10-11T13:01:00.001-05:002015-10-11T13:02:15.817-05:00this is how the industry lives now: five signs that you might be suffering from white privilege <div style="text-align: center;">
Hey! It's been a bit of a while since I last wrote a blog post, but this was very much needed. I often write about issues that are in the young adult literature community, meaning that a lot of people don't know about them (besides my peeps on Twitter, anyway.)</div>
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But the discussion of writers from the majority and their privilege has come up again. </div>
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So, basically, many people on Twitter are upset with Ms. Rosoff's response (including myself), and I'm going to analyze her white privilege in both this response and how she is handling the backlash.</div>
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(First, I want to thank Laura Atkins for being super cool. Because I probably wouldn't started making sarcastic backhanded insults, and she stayed cool.)</div>
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1. <b>"Good literature expands your mind:" </b>Okay, but good literature expands your mind by teaching you about other people. We've been solely talking about white people and their issues for hundreds of years. No one is saying that you should stop doing this, but why do we ONLY need to talk about white people? I read so that I can learn about the world, about other people. Not to get a comprehensive backstory on one type of person.</div>
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2. <b>"There are thousands of books:"</b>Where? Do you know any of them? Do you know that there are thousands of books about white people, and yet, we're still expected to read them? In the past, white books were all that were offered. Racial minorities are just beginning to have their stories told. Yes, there have been many success stories, but for each of those, there are about ten authors being shot down.</div>
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PS: Stories about racial minorities written by white people don't count. </div>
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3. <b>She's writing a book about a black boy who falls in love with a Native American woman fifteen years older than him! </b>Imagine that! So, you know, obviously she can't be racist. Because she's going to write a black boy (who will probably be horribly done) (not trying to hate but it's true) being abused by an older Native American woman! People who do that definitely aren't racist. </div>
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4. <b>Her first book was white as Vermont in the winter. Seriously: </b>I'm fifteen, so there are lots of authors who wrote books way before I was old enough to read them. But I can say, with total honesty, that I didn't know about Meg. She's actually a pretty successful writer, but her books were published when I was still in elementary school. </div>
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Her first book, <i>How I Live Now</i>, won a Pritz Award and was made into a movie. I've never read it, so I don't know if I would like it...but I do know that it's sooooooo white. Sigh. I guess that explains some things?</div>
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5. <b>She has blocked everyone who opposes her on Twitter (pretty much everyone.) </b>This isn't something that you can google to figure out, but I promise that it's true. Just ask...anyone on Twitter who openly disagrees with her. It's funny to me, because the white people who need to hear these conversations usually are the ones who don't want to listen. </div>
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Plus, I don't understand who she expects to buy her books, but alright.</div>
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<b><i>Bonus round: </i></b></div>
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I'm going to include five instances of white privilege that is ingrained in the publishing industry (but also many other media industries, such as the film industry or even the news industry): </div>
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1. <b>Racial minorities who write stories about themselves and are vocal about the fact that they aren't heard are branded as having some sort of agenda, when all they want to do is tell stories.</b> Ava DuVernay has spoken about how she wishes that she would be asked about her film and technique instead of just asked to talk about the racism over and over again in the industry. </div>
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It gets exhausting. Once you talk about a problem, you're expected to only talk about that. Or even worse: some people, like our buddy Meg, might think that you're pushing some sort of "agenda." Whatever that means. White people who tell their stories are just story tellers. </div>
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2. <b>"I'm uncomfortable when everything is not about me." </b>This is a major white privilege thing, and it's basically how I describe white authors who get upset about more books being written by racial minorities. It's often (not) a subconscious thing, where white authors are happy to write "diverse" characters but become hostile when "diverse" people write these characters on their own. </div>
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3. <b>White mediocrity</b>: This is more of a concept, but I'm happy to explain. While there are white authors who are amazing and fantastic and produce great works, there are also white authors who...are just okay. Or even bad. But they're celebrated and given awards and praise for being mediocre. </div>
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(This isn't just a thing with books, by the way. I see it all of the time with films, TV, and music. But I digress.) </div>
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Meanwhile, people of color are held to actual standards (that sounds rude, but whatever.) They have to work to be good, and sometimes that isn't enough. Basically, white authors can get on the NYT Bestseller List for being "okay." A Hispanic author has to be "fantastic" to get the same thing. White authors have to be "fantastic" to win a National Book Award. Black authors have to be "outstanding" to be considered.</div>
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Do you get what I mean? </div>
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4. <b>White authors will get recognition for writing racial minority characters that are horribly done. </b>This is just a step up from the white mediocrity. When the industry/readers of young adult started calling out for more diversity, I guess many people assumed this meant that the white people were supposed to start writing characters of color.</div>
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That's....not exactly what we mean. </div>
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Because, while this has led to some really cool books, this has also led to some (excuse my language) lazy ass authors writing people of color through their white eyes. That's...no. That's not how it works. By writing people of color the way white people see them (through a racist lense, to be honest, because of institutional racism but that's a story for another day), an actual character isn't being portrayed. A stereotype is. Usually an insulting one.</div>
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BUT. White authors get praised for this! I've seen it happen so so soooo many times. We're expected to be happy that we're included, even if it isn't done well. And then, if a white author writes an insulting black character and we call them out for it, the white author throws a fit.</div>
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(I'm thinking of a specific example, but I digress.)</div>
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<a href="http://www.makeyourday.info/messages/lookup.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.makeyourday.info/messages/lookup.jpg" height="226" width="320" /></a></div>
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5. <b>White people are angry about racial minorities writing their own stories (and being good at it), because now they actually have to work hard.</b> My personal theory is that white people are on the defense, because storytelling as they know it is coming to an end. They can't avoid these "diverse" characters, or even write half-assed versions of them, because a minority will blow them out of the water. They're realizing that white mediocrity won't hold up forever, so their solution? To keep racial minorities from telling their stories in the first place. </div>
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Don't let them. This is how the industry lives now: diversely. </div>
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xoxo,<br />
Camryn</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14113864646645082197noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2440001500799740491.post-1705995446008253032015-09-22T22:27:00.000-05:002015-09-22T22:27:00.105-05:00I'm Angry That Viola Davis Made History<div style="text-align: center;">
“The only thing that separates women of color from anything else is opportunity.” </div>
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Viola Davis is an inspiration. </div>
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I am totally in love with her and her work. Her speech was phenomenal. I was so excited when she got up to that stage, and every single thing that she said was so on point. You guys don’t know how much I love this woman. </div>
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But I’m angry. I’m angry that I saw this woman, up there, crying as she became the first black woman to win the Emmy for best actress in a drama. I’m angry as hell. There are so many black women with talent, and they’re barely recognized. Are the Emmys trying to tell me that there has only been one black woman, in all 67 years, that deserved this award? </div>
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Some people will try to tell me that this is about talent. To that, I scoff, clench my fists, and try not to scream. </div>
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Let’s talk about the fact that, according to a report from the Writers Guild of America, only 13.7% of television show staff writers are minorities - and this figure was taken of both women and men. <a href="http://www.wga.org/content/default.aspx?id=5764" target="_blank">Let’s talk about the fact that the amount of women of color in writer’s rooms actually decreased this year.</a></div>
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Let’s talk about how only eight black women have won Oscars, and how no black woman has ever won the award for Best Director. We can talk about how this isn’t about lack of talent: a big example is from March, when HBO held a contest for “diverse” female and male writers of color, allowing eight winners to receive training and support to help them produce a TV pilot. <a href="http://blog.pshares.org/index.php/diverse-writers-break-the-internet-ask-hbo-how-many/" target="_blank">How there were so many applicants that the site crashed. </a></div>
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It’s not that there aren’t women of color trying, pushing for their stories to be heard. They are just ignored. <a href="http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/movies/la-et-mn-ava-duvernay-20150908-story.html" target="_blank">While we’re on that subject, we can also talk about how black people in the industry are told that the market can only support two “black films” each year, no matter what the genre. </a></div>
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<a href="http://deadline.com/2015/03/tv-pilots-ethnic-casting-trend-backlash-1201386511/" target="_blank">How there are some people who openly think that there are already too many “ethnic” people on TV. </a></div>
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And if you still need some proof, we can talk about how Nancy Lee Grahn said that the Emmys are not “a venue for racial opportunity” and that Viola Davis “has never been discriminated against.” You know, even though she’s a white lady and has never been a black woman. We can talk about how, during her apology, she said she “never expected every black Twitterer to attack.” </div>
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Okay. </div>
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For a black young woman who wants to be in this industry, this is heartbreaking. For crying out loud, this is disappointing for black women everywhere. The fact that black women are still made to feel inadequate, even while they have the same talent as white women. This is why it’s so important to have women of color as film studio executives and producers, so that they can pull other women up with them. </div>
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Patricia Arquette brought up important issues about women in Hollywood, about women in all industries. Why can’t Viola Davis do the same for women of color? While feminism is trying hard to make things better for women, we have to help all women: brown women, Asian women, trans women, queer women. You can’t leave half of us hanging. </div>
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I’m not angry about Viola’s win. She deserved it, and I will vouch that from the rooftops. But black women shouldn’t have had to wait so long for recognition. Don’t forget about us. We have just as many stories as we do. </div>
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xoxo, </div>
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Camryn</div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14113864646645082197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2440001500799740491.post-69789735864147779722015-09-11T14:30:00.000-05:002015-09-11T14:30:00.805-05:00questions about 9/11<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't remember September 11th. I was a year old when it happened.</div>
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I remember going to school and listening to survivors in the sixth grade. I remember watching documentaries on TV when I was eleven, the small stories that older family members gave me when I was thirteen. But I don't actually <i>remember</i> it. And that's why, whenever someone says to never forget, I feel guilty. Really guilty.</div>
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Because, even though I wasn't there and can't empathize completely, I still get the fact that a lot of people lost their lives. That this was an action of hatred. Innocent people did not deserve the things that happened to them. People didn't deserve to lose family members or be absolutely terrified.</div>
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But...I can't connect to it the way that most adults can. I just <i>can't</i> I don't get why this one day, over all of the other days where many Americans lost their lives, has a gigantic cloud hanging over it. Why every channel blocks out several hours dedicated to it. I don't mean to be disrespectful - the opposite, really. I want to understand <i>why</i> so that I might be better next year.</div>
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Memorializing 9/11 in school isn't a bad thing at all. But it's always made me feel weird. I know that I should feel bad. I should feel so horrible and remorseful when we watch videos of people jumping out of windows, and buildings falling. And I do. But I feel like it isn't enough. I want to do something. To have discussions. To try, with all of my power, to prevent this from happening again.</div>
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When I think of 9/11, I think of the War on Terror. I don't know if I'm supposed to or not. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel or what I'm supposed to think on this day.</div>
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Because I didn't live through the event, I don't think I have the ability to separate it from everything that came after. In history class, we are taught that most events cause a reaction. The Middle Ages caused the Renaissance (some might say.) The dropping of the Atomic Bomb ended World War 2. People say that everything changed after September 11th.</div>
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How? Why?</div>
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I feel weird about 9/11 because we don't really <i>talk </i>about it, and it's probably because "everyone" remembers. We talk about how we were impacted - we as in those of us who are not Muslim, or look the same way as the attackers. But I never hear discussion about how our country moved ahead afterward. People tell me that the country changed, but <i>how</i>?</div>
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This is the only United States that I've known. I want to know how it used to be.</div>
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It's hard for me to separate the hatred and prejudice against Muslims from this event. It's hard for me to separate advanced security protocols and all of the war that happened for most of my childhood from 9/11. All of the war and hardships that followed after seem to be linked to what our country did <i>after</i> 9/11. We don't talk about that.</div>
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Yes, 9/11 was horrific in so many ways. So many people were hurt or harmed and still suffer today. But. I feel like everyone memorializes for hours each year, and we don't actually talk...well, about anything? Do we need to? I guess not.</div>
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I realize that this might be because it all happened not too long ago. We don't have the same context because we're too close to the event for this to be taught the way I learn about European history at school. But I wish that people would just <i>say</i> that. I wish that I could ask questions and have discussions about this. Whenever I see it happening, people are usually told to be quiet.</div>
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We talk about the immediate aftermath, like how firefighters were down in the city for weeks and weeks. How they kept looking. How the entire country was grieving, as one. I've been to the memorial, and I've seen all of the names. I've watched people grieve, and have along with them.</div>
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I think that it's so confusing for me because I can sort of see 9/11 objectively. I don't have many ties to it, since I don't remember anything about the day, and didn't really learn about it until these past few years. It's easy for me to say that it's weird that we memorialize 9/11 when we bomb other countries because I wasn't bombed.</div>
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It's easy for me to think about this in all sorts of different contexts, to think of questions that no one really answers:</div>
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Why don't we commemorate other days, like Pearl Harbor, the way we do 9/11?</div>
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Why are we never to forget 9/11, but not the Holocaust or slavery or the Trail of Tears?</div>
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Why do we seem to move on from shootings like Columbine and Sandy Hook, but never forget 9/11?</div>
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Why?</div>
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Why?</div>
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Why?</div>
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No one really has answers.</div>
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I feel like we only speak about 9/11 from one viewpoint every year. The events were done in hatred, but the people who did them thought they were doing right. When we kill people in other countries, we do it in the name of freedom, but they probably see it as an act of hatred. I don't understand.</div>
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That's not to say that the lives lost don't deserve to be commemorated, because they absolutely do. It just confuses me, and I want answers. I want to make sure that something as horrible and awful as this never happens again. And, if there's any chance that it would, how is my generation to respond?</div>
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Is talking about how our country changed, how we moved forward, disrespectful just because it makes people angry? And, if we can't talk about it because it's disrespectful, how will we know how to avoid/handle a situation like this if it ever happens again?</div>
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xoxo, </div>
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Camryn</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14113864646645082197noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2440001500799740491.post-62997744206956341212015-09-07T19:35:00.000-05:002015-09-07T19:35:00.146-05:00about ray <div style="text-align: center;">
This movie isn't even out yet, and I'm still sort of disappointed about it. No, wait. I'm very disappointed about it. </div>
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I've had a lot of discussions about diversity in film, books, etc. with a lot of people. Even though it's super important, it's also really important that diverse people can tell stories about themselves. It's especially important, because if that doesn't happen, stuff like <i>about ray </i>does. </div>
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I've basically made it a policy not to post links on here, but t<a href="http://www.refinery29.com/2015/08/92441/about-ray-elle-fanning-poster" target="_blank">here's an interview that the director of the</a> film did. One that made me really freaking upset. In case you didn't know, the film is about a young transman and his journey through transition. </div>
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But, like, he's portrayed by Elle Fanning, who is a cis female. (She's actually been pretty respectful in all of the interviews that she's done about the film so far, but that's besides the point.) And honestly, all the director does is refer to Ray by his incorrect pronouns. </div>
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She also kept calling him a girl. And said it's not a story about a trans person, just a confused girl. Which is really freaking annoying, actually. I know that I'm not trans, so this isn't really my space to talk about. But I at least wanted to bring light to the situation. </div>
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Basically, the director said that they used Elle Fanning so that the movie would make a certain amount of money. She also said that the movie was originally about three generations of women, which I actually think she should've done.</div>
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I guess it's possible for cisgender actors and directors to create stories about trans people, but I don't know how authentically they can do it. Obviously, the director doesn't know much of what she's talking about. In this situation, you can tell that she decided to focus on a trans character because it would be "cool." </div>
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Or, you know, seem progressive and hopefully make a lot of money that way. </div>
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Basically, don't make movies about people whose lives you have not lived unless you want to do the work. I figured that was common sense, but I guess not.</div>
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*shrugs*</div>
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xoxo, </div>
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Camryn </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14113864646645082197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2440001500799740491.post-60478984813151862172015-09-05T13:06:00.001-05:002015-09-05T13:17:35.423-05:00to this bitch who was talking about Halsey in the press the other day, Maggie what's good?<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Warning: I have totally reverted to my fifteen year old self in this post, as you can tell by the title. I'm angry and pissed off, and will probably regret this later. Proceed with caution. </b></div>
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The publishing industry, like many other industries, is filled with white saviors. Basically, we knew this already, but I was sadly reminded of it when I woke up this morning and saw that <a href="http://maggie-stiefvater.tumblr.com/post/128401782106/ok-maggie-im-just-going-to-say-it-i-dont" target="_blank">Maggie Stiefvater wrote something about why she accepted an invitation to sit on a panel about the "other."</a></div>
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I'm honestly so appalled that I'm not even sure what to say. First of all, the fact that she mentioned something about "unpopular" races is just...I can't. That alone is full of white privilege. So basically, all other races are boring until a white person writes about us. Right?</div>
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I have no idea how this woman has not experienced racism or anything else that comes with being a racial minority, but presumes to sit on a panel and "educate" about it. Bullshit.</div>
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Second, she said that, even though she doesn't know what she's talking about, she's qualified to sit on the panel. Right. Because, you know, there has to be a token white author up there to validate everyone else's words. That's what she basically is saying, right?</div>
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Also, this is just a bunch of issues with the publishing industry in general. Publishing seems to be this super white industry, even though there are campaigns to get more diversity. The thing is, though, now that there is a call for diversity, white people (and other majorities) think it means that they can make a lot of money/get a lot of recognition if they write diverse characters. </div>
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(Sort of like how cis actors like Eddie Redmayne portray trans characters because of the recognition they hope to get, but I digress.)</div>
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Look, sometimes white people write good characters of color. But the idea is that we don't want them writing all of them. We want to write our own stories. And, since YA has this weird thing where they fixate on about five authors for ten years at a time, I have a feeling this is what will happen:</div>
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Say John Green decides to write a book about a black kid. The kid is well written, I guess, but there are black authors writing black kids from their <i>actual experience. </i>John Green gets film adaptations and awards and NYT spots. </div>
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Black authors sometimes don't even get agents. </div>
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And, since publishing (like a lot of entertainment industries) is still ruled by mostly white people, there's this weird...thing where people of color can't talk about these things. We can't bring them up or call people out. Because then we might look like "trouble to work with." I've seen black authors who are just painted as angry all of the time.</div>
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People have told me that you have to be this approachable butterfly for white people to pay attention to you. Even if your writing is good, you have to be this docile flower for the right editor to get your book and the right agent and the right author to blurb your book.</div>
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It's absolute bullshit, and I don't care if I never get published for saying so. </div>
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But then there was this drama with Halsey. Maggie has basically been making fun of Halsey, a singer who is probably way more qualified to sit on this diversity panel, for a while now. She basically uses her as a weird joke/parody thing, and also made fun of her break up. </div>
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Maggie was like "Ohhhh, I didn't think that you would see so basically it's okay." </div>
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1. It's not fucking okay. </div>
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2. She legit <i>tagged </i>Halsey in the tweets where she made fun of her. Maggie has 67k followers. And tagged Halsey. Rule number one, you don't tag someone if you don't want them to see the tweet. That's like, basic Twitter logic. Two, you have a lot of followers. You're somewhat of a public figure, and didn't think this would be seen? Okay. Sure. </div>
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3. This is partially me being bitter about the John Green Tumblr thing that happened a little while ago, but still. Basically, someone on Tumblr wrote an <i>offensive </i>post about John Green. They didn't think he would see it, because they were a tiny little blog and he is this big author famous person.</div>
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But oH NO. He found it and called her out and so did Maggie. She said the fact that this original poster didn't think John would see it wasn't an excuse. She JUMPED on this person about it, and wrote something about all the negativity on social media or whatever.</div>
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But, now that Halsey is calling her out, the fact that "Maggie didn't think she was going to see" is valid. Hmm. Now is it because Maggie is a white woman? Because she is the "voice of the youth" or something? </div>
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Or is it just because she's the exception to every rule?</div>
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xoxo, </div>
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Camryn</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14113864646645082197noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2440001500799740491.post-30076093932241275272015-09-03T15:30:00.000-05:002015-09-03T15:30:00.983-05:00chat with Nicola Yoon<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.047056; margin-bottom: 13pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<b><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Imagine being grounded - not being able to leave the house, see your friends, or visit your favorite places. Now imagine living that sort of life for </span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">eighteen</span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> years. In Nicola Yoon’s new young adult novel, </span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Everything, Everything, </span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">this is the story of main character Madeline’s life. </span></b></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Allergic to literally most of the world, Madeline has only known her sterile house, mother, and nurse. Until a new boy moves next door. I chatted with author Nicola about the book, love, and taking risks:</b></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.755; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A fun question I like to ask is about the books or stories they wrote before the one that got published. How many books did you write before this one?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I actually wrote one book before, which I might come back to one day, but it just isn't ready for anyone to see at all right now. It's pretty awful. But I still like some of the ideas in it, so one day. Hopefully.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-c43a1279-8a64-15f9-5a44-246bfd00cfb0" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.755; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What are some of the themes of </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Everything, Everything</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">?</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.755; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For me, it's really about all of the risks you take for love and whether or not those risks are worth it, whether or not love is worth it. Because, I feel like, everyone has been in love or loved someone or something just so much that it takes over your life. But then the question for me is always </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">what if you lose it</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">? Then, you know, how does life continue? Are you </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">able</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> to continue?</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.755; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I think that first started worrying about it when I met my husband, because I'm totally, totally in love with him. I'm crazy about him. And when I first met him, I was like ‘</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">oh my gosh, this is the one.’ </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And then I started wondering what would happen if he got hit by a car or something terrible happening. And then we had our daughter and things were even worse, like </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">‘holy cow, now I have the two of them.’</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.755; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I love them way too much, and you sort of wonder. The risk of losing love could be devastating. I definitely think that's what the book is about. Love in all of its forms, and the risk that you take by being in love and whether it's worth it.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know that when (spoiler) happened, I started screaming. I took the book to my sister's graduation today, because I thought I could finish it in a day, and I kept screaming. Especially when I got to the end. It was awesome.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Yay! I'm glad you like it. I mean, I started writing when I first had my daughter and I was totally worried about everything with her, like ‘</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Oh, she's gonna get a cold, she's gonna fall down,’ </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">so I really related to the parts with [Maddie's Mom].</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.755; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So what types of stories would you like to see more in YA over the next few years?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I'm a part of <a href="http://weneeddiversebooks.org/" target="_blank">We Need Diverse Books</a>, so one of my sort of personal priorities is just getting stories with more diverse characters and all sorts of characters. I feel like there are two types of books that we usually see when it comes to diverse characters: issue books and non-issue books. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I feel like issue books are super important and save lives like if you were struggling with race issues and sexuality issues and read that book and that helps you, then it saves your life.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.755; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But I feel like, for non-issue books, that don't talk about it explicitly, are also just as important. I feel like we need to see the world as it is right now, because we are a diverse world. You know, everyone doesn't wake up worrying about whatever issue or whatever label the rest of of the world puts on them. I feel like </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Harry Potter </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">could be black or Mexican or gay and most of the stories wouldn't have to change. That's my sort of big thing, in terms of books in general.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.755; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So you sort of already said it, but do you think that organizations like We Need Diverse Books help get more stories out?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I think they do. I think there are lots of ways to do it. I mean, not only do we need diverse characters in books, but diverse authors and diverse editors and diverse copy editors. I think that we just need publishing to reflect the numbers in the worlds. There are lots of black people and lots of Asian people and I don't think that publishing quite reflects that and it needs to.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">How did you give Madison agency over her own story, even though she was stuck in her room?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This was actually hard for me at the beginning when I started writing it because, at first, she's pretty well adjusted in her house. She's accepted her fate, and that's the agency that I gave her. I thought it would be easy to be just miserable, because it's a miserable situation, but that would be a terrible way for her to live. So her agency is to try everyday, like </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">‘I'm gonna try to make the best of it. I'm going to take the world.’</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> That's why she draws the world, it's her way to understand it. The agency that she has is to try to be happy in the situation.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.755; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Why did you decide to include Carla [Maddie's nurse] as a character? I loved her.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.755; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Maddie needed a nurse [in general], but she needed someone to help her see the world beside her mom. So it was practical, because her mom needed work and she needed someone to be there, but also, you know, show another perspective.</span></div>
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<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.755; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">OLLY. Did you outline him, or did he sort of just come to you as you went on?</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.755; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I had a pretty good idea - I don't like to outline that much. But Olly, I pictured the type of person who would fall in love with Maddie and that's how Olly came about. He's sort of attracted to her because he has such a dark home life and is kind of cynical about that. Here is this girl who has every reason to be cynical and miserable, but she's not. I think that's what attracts him to her in the first place. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.755; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So Olly really started out as who would fall in love with Maddy, who would find her charming. But no, I didn't write an outline because, I mean, I knew he was so cute and he wore all black. There are a lot of super cute boys who wear all black.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.755; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Well, exactly. How much research did you have to do on Maddy’s disease and all of the medical aspects involved with that?</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.755; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So I did do a lot of research, but it's not like a medical book. I didn't enough research to know enough about it to know what she could and could not touch, the sort of practical things, but the book is really about living and not being sick, so all of the medical stuff doesn't really come into great detail. It's about what it means to be alive versus living.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.755; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I like that. Are you working on another book at the moment? </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.755; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am! I'm actually on deadline for my next book right now. I actually can't say that much about it, but there's love in it.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.755; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">That's the most important part.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.755; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There's love, and yeah, that's what I get to say. [laughs]</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.755; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Awesome. Thank you so much!</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.755; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It was great talking to you!</span></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.755; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Everything, Everything, out September 1st from Random House, has been honored as a </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #363636; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Book Expo America Young Adult Buzz Panel selection, Indies Introduce Debut selection, #2 Indie Next Autumn 2015 selection, and starred reviews from Kirkus reviews School Library Journal. </span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14113864646645082197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2440001500799740491.post-73823018854627886382015-09-01T22:12:00.000-05:002015-09-01T22:12:00.346-05:00this song will save your life<div style="text-align: center;">
this. book. </div>
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Okay, so I just finished reading it a couple of days ago. And it was absolutely amazing, dudes. I didn't think that I was going to like it, at first, because it seemed to be pretty popular and I don't always get along with popular books.<br />
<br />
but this one...was just completely brilliant. It was so good that I don't even know how to come up with the words for it, if you can believe that. Maybe it was just that it was so relatable (in some ways more than others.)<br />
<br />
The main character, this girl, Elise, was never popular. She has these two friends because it's better than being alone (I feel) and is totally bullied by a bunch of these kids/ignored by everyone else (I feel) and is totally bitter about this girl "betraying her confidence."<br />
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I guess that I usually find YA main characters to be annoying in situations like this. Usually, really popular books have got these characters who don't sound like teenagers at all. So either Leila Sales still remembers being a teenager (rare), or has just jumped inside the brain of one (more likely.)<br />
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I loved the way that her "romantic interest" went down, and I just...I loved this. Finding your passion, finding yourself. That one thing that actually makes you realize that you can be happy, that all of life is not high school. It's important to talk about the sad things and this book did it while being hopeful.<br />
<br />
I really don't have anymore words to describe how much I loved this book.<br />
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<i><u>But as for being problematic... </u></i><br />
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-I don't think the self harm aspect of the book was handled badly, but it did trigger me at first. I would be careful of that. </div>
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-I actually don't think that the author mentioned the ethnicity/race of the characters...so it's always weird for me when authors do that, but it also wasn't a big part of the book. Sort of so that everyone could see themselves in it?</div>
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(More on that: The only black/gay person, with those two things specifically stated, was Mel. So I suppose that we're supposed to assume that everyone else is white, because she never specified with any of the other characters? Anyway. That was kind of annoying.)</div>
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-This book is about a girl who wants to be a DJ, and she's constantly being let into a club with her other underage friends. I guess that's problematic, but I didn't really care. </div>
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Yeah. I just really loved this book. </div>
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xoxo,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Camryn</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14113864646645082197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2440001500799740491.post-52579313166080867292015-08-30T22:18:00.000-05:002015-08-30T22:18:06.426-05:00the white and black of being problematic<div style="text-align: center;">
A lot of times when I talk about racism, I do it from a black young woman's point of view, because that's what I am. And it's really hard for me to consume media without seeing things in a black and white way, if that makes sense. </div>
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Anyway, the VMAs were hosted by Miley Cyrus. I pretty much was on Twitter the entire time, and I noticed that a lot of people were angry with her because of cultural appropriation. For example, she called Snoop Dogg her "mammy" (the submissive black character from <i>Gone With the Wind), </i>and wore dreads, among other things. </div>
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So, a lot of people were irritated. Myself included. I understand the strides that Miley has made in terms of gender and sexuality, but it's pretty difficult for me to think of them when it feels like she's insulting black people, even if she doesn't realize it. </div>
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People have pointed this out. People keep saying that she doesn't understand that she has white privilege, and that seems to be excuse enough. We can't hold her responsible for what she's saying because she's still a child, apparently. </div>
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She brushed off Nicki Minaj after insulting her, and Nicki cursed her out, which some people say wasn't classy. I noticed that, when Kanye went up to make his speech, a lot of people were done with him. And sure, Kanye can be confusing. He can be problematic, of course, because we all can.</div>
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My point is that, whenever black people are problematic, people JUMP on them. And that's totally what should happen, of course, without a doubt. But when white people are problematic, especially white people who claim to be fighting to equal rights (such as Iggy, Miley, Taylor, and Macklemore), we can't say anything.</div>
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It's because they're <i>trying their best. </i>It's <i>not their fault that they have privilege. </i>They <i>just don't understand. </i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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I've noticed that, just because a famous white person does one good thing, they basically don't have to be held accountable for anything wrong that they might do. Which is an unhealthy attitude. </div>
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So sure, Miley has made strides for white genderfluid people. Iggy advocates for white women. I have to specify, you see, because when they turn around and appropriate other cultures I know that they don't want to include people of color.</div>
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That's why, even though Nicki and Kanye can be extremely problematic at times, I still clap when they appear on stage. I'm still happy when they call out people and institutions. Black people don't have a whole lot of a voice, especially in the entertainment industry. White kids have people advocating for them, and we have black people advocating for us.</div>
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The idea, you see, is to try to get us all advocating for each other. But that isn't going to happen unless we are all educated, which means holding others accountable for being problematic, especially in a public space.</div>
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Lastly, if white people can still be celebrated for their accomplishments while still being problematic, so can people of color.</div>
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xoxo,</div>
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Camryn</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14113864646645082197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2440001500799740491.post-20525674767490803462015-08-28T15:00:00.000-05:002015-08-28T15:00:05.234-05:00i don't care about your post baby body (and neither does anyone else<div style="text-align: center;">
Okay, so I know that modern day media is obsessed with how women look. Everything about their bodies is critiqued - their faces and the makeup that they use, their thighs, their stomach, etc. For some reason, this doesn't let up when women are pregnant. </div>
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Like, I think that being pregnant is a big deal. It must suck. You are carrying something gigantic in your stomach, and it's stretching in ways that it's not used to. Your feel swell, your head hurts, you get hungry...and then you have to push the thing out, as if that weren't enough.<br />
<br />
But then the suffering doesn't end, because then all eyes are on the <i>post baby body. </i>I don't care. I don't even think that other women care to see what someone looks like after they've given birth. <i>They just had a baby. </i>Who cares about their weight?<br />
<br />
Don't even get me started on people reporting on how much weight someone has gained during pregnancy. For some reason, this natural process is horrible? And women should feel ashamed? I don't understand any of it, honestly, and it actually makes me angry.<br />
<br />
So angry that I was actually defending Kim Kardashian. Like, why do people care how much weight she has gained while carrying a fetus?<br />
<br />
Goodness. I'm telling you, the media really pushes stuff that we don't care about. I will continue to tell all sorts of people that, whoever will listen.<br />
<br />
xoxo,<br />
Camryn Garrett</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14113864646645082197noreply@blogger.com0